So tomorrow I start a new job, my first new job since August of '04 (imagine that). And I'm kinda nervous and kinda scared and kinda anxiety ridden mainly because all new jobs are hellish and suck. On the one hand, I kinda want to put myself down and go to sleep so that I'll get plenty of rest before the big day. On the other hand, I kinda want to stay up as late as I can just to enjoy all this time in which I'm not dealing with the first day of work.

As we all know (and as I've probably written here before), first weeks suck. There's nothing for you to do, they're not really prepared for you, and so they just sit you at a desk that hasn't really been set up for you, give you a bunch of papers to fill out and a bunch of manuals to read and then you have to spend eight hours pretending that it's the most exciting thing ever and you're so excited to be there. When you're not. Or at least, you're not because you're bored out of your frickin' skull. Plus, you have to pretend that you are a hard worker so you can't spend all that free time doing what most people at work do with free time-- surf the internet.

The other thing is that everything is new so you don't know anybody, don't know where anything is, and don't even really know who to ask. So you have to ask where the bathroom is or where the lunch room is or if there's coffee and snacks there and if not, where do people go and so on and so forth.

Oh, for various reasons, I can't check email at my new job which is GOING TO BE HELL.

One more interview story before I hopefully don't have to post one of these for awhile....

The older I've gotten, the worse my fear of heights has become. Actually, it's not a fear of heights as much as it is a fear of being in a high place when the Big One hits. Anyways, the issue has become big enough that working on the 30th floor of a high rise, something that could happen if I were to get offered the job, would put the job in the negative column. So is the fact that it's prime real estate, huge office, and lots of empty seats. But that's a whole other thing entirely.

Two other things about the interview-

Due to some yummy mexican food the night before and way too many cracker-type substances, I woke up the next morning with a rumble in the tummy. Which had me worried. So worried I spent much of the ride over to the job and before the job wondering just how one extricates themselves from the middle of an interview to run to the commode.

The other thing is that I was really exhausted that day, for various assorted reasons. I got to the interview on time and was just wired enough from coffee, but first they had me fill out a form. That took fifteen minutes, ten of which I spent twiddling my thumbs. Then the first person I was supposed to interview was fifteen minutes late. Now, the thing is that when you start with the interviewin' you're kinda pumped, kinda primed, kinda raring to go. Except for when their late and it's early and your tired and after awhile, you start feeling sleepy. Very sleepy. But the thing is is that you can't look sleepy at all. You can't slump down on your chair, can't put your head on the table, can't even give any impression of doing anything but sitting at the chair in a completely attentive way so that you look eager and gung-ho.

This is not as easy as it looks. Trust me. It's hard to sit there in a prime position when you're mind is thinking three things

-I'm friggin bored
-When the hell are they going to get here? This is driving me crazy
-God, I really have to take a shit.

And so, yes, Barrack Obama Superstar got crushed last night. Maybe the black guy won't win. Of course, I should have known it was meant to be because of what I always expected. Mainly that:

-Inspiring and idealistic always (always) loses to cold, cynical and ruthless
-Celebrity trumps everything so that one person with a famous name will always beat somebody without a famous name
-Never underestimate how much whitey (especially poor, rural whitey) is scared of people who aren't whitey
-Never misunderestimate the intelligence in the American people in terms of believing every random email they get sent to them by their aunt's sister in law


I guess I will vote for Hillary in the election but I have to say that I actually like John McCain better. I at least respect him way more than I do Hillary. All that kitchen sink throwing they've been doing at Obama just gets me under the skin, the misrepresentations, the vague allusions to race, the contorted logic in their arguements. But, as always, it gets to me in that for the most part, people (well, some of them) seem to be voting for her because well they loved Bill and they had a good run when BIll was president so let's vote for his wife! Except for NAFTA. That was on him.

The thing that really sticks in my craw is the whole thing about "experience" in foreign policy. She was the freakin' First Lady. It's not like she was conducting negotiations with the Serbs or the Palestinians yet they make it seem like she did. And then, if you read through things, you discover that she didn't even read the friggin' National Intelligence Report when congress decided to vote on the war, yet she's the one who has more experience in foreign policy. If you look at her record, actually, she has the same votes as McCain and we're guessing a lot of them were cynical votes so she didn't have to be accused as a wuss.

Eh, I'm just bitter this morning.

Got nothing other than two random thoughts--

It appears that one of everyone's favorite smells is the smell of bacon in the morning. Even people who don't eat meat. All of which got me thinking that maybe somebody needs to make some sort of air-freshner thingy which smells like bacon being cooked.

Yum

And the other thing....

After reading way too many stories about this election, it appears to me that there should be a test on whether you are able to vote or not-- if you really do believe Obama is a muslim (based on some random email that they got over the internet) than you should not be able to vote. Because not only do you prove you really haven't paid enough attention to what's going on to deserve to vote, but you are also a fucking idiot.

Oh, here's another work-related story.

I had an interview with some big gaming company, a place I actually interviewed with years ago (something, actually, which is happening quite a lot as I've been interviewing with places I interviewed with years and years ago). Anyways, the place has a huge, huge campus and the recruiter who set up the interview gave me the wrong building. So not only did I get incorrect instructions from Yahoo Maps (the building was way in back, away from the front of entrance and any sign that it was part of said company) but I went to the wrong building. Unfortunately, the campus of the place I was to interview with was huge (HUGE) and as a result, I got lost on the friggin campus and couldn't find the correct building.

Fifteen minutes later and drenched in sweat from frantically running around trying not to be late, I made it to the correct building.

So one of the things about Lost that amazes me is how come none of the castaways have said something like "Jesus Frickin' Christ, out of all the islands we could have landed on, why did we have to land on some crazy-ass island with a smoke monster, some weird science group that is trying to kill us, weird laboratories, and a polar bear on it?"

Anyways, before an interview I actually cut myself shaving. On my lip. First of all, how does one do that? Second of all, OUCH. And naturally, it bled like a mofo so I had to somehow dress all the while trying to keep blood from getting everywhere.

Which I managed to do, thank you very much.

Holy friggin shit, the black guy just might do it. Go, Obama, go!

I would say "yes, we can" right here but I don't want to be that cheesy.

Alright, one job related post, just for the heck of it:

That agency that didn't prepare for me when I went in for an interview? Well, they never returned my emails about the status so I had to hound the person over the phone. Sometimes I'm like that-- if they ain't going to take the trouble of returning calls, then I'm going to make them. Anyways, I got an email from the main person there saying that they decided to go in another direction and so they weren't going to hire for the position.

All things considering, I can see that so I don't think they were BS'ing. Plus, the women sent me an email on saturday night telling me this and I figure if she's emailing me on a work-related issue on a Saturday, there's something seriously going on there.

I actually almost felt like sending her a thank you note just because she took the trouble to email me on a Saturday night.

Since I've heard that this blog has been a bit too depressing lately (and for those who care, the job situation is all good. Also, I haven't felt like writing too much so there's good stuff going on too), here's something I wrote on SFist:

ng the number of beards per customer, multiplying it by the size of the crowd, and then dividing it again by the square footage). The HBQ was not quite Boogaloos high but high nevertheless. We also noticed that there were also a high variety of beards seen, meaning that the beard craze has gone from it's "classic" phase to "gothic" phase.

Like all things hipster, we wondered just how this beard thing works and the meaning of it all. Like, the guy checking IDs at the bar had a very scruffy, mountain man beard that made him look like Zach Galifianakis. Does this make him "hipper" than some dude with just a normal beard just because it was thicker? Is that worth, say, five hipster points on the hipster/coolness scale? And what about the dude we saw riding a bike down 16th street who had some sort of Hasidic Rabbi/Matisyahu thing going? Is that considered the high end of hipsterdom, like fifteen points or twenty, because his beard was way longer than most beards? Would this, then, make him hipper than the guy checking IDs? Then there was another guy at the bar who had a normal looking beard, but topped it off with a Rollie-Fingers style handlebar moustache. How hip would he be considered? Would he be somewhere between the Zach dude and the Matisyahu dude because his beard was normal length or would he be considered hipper because while it is easy to just grow out a beard, doing the handlebar thing takes work and effort?

We could be wrong about all this but our guess was that the handle bar dude was higher on the hipster scale because he was able to attract his faux-mullet wearing, sort of 70's swept-do, girlfriend, Together, they gave off such an aura of hipness that we wanted to stand by them and bask in their hipster, halo-like, aura. We felt cooler just being in the same bar with them. Were these two the offical King and Queen of Hipsterdom? Were they the Patient Zero of hipsterdom, you know the two hipsters in the Mission from which all hipness emanates? Either way, to them we say, well played, hipster couple, well played.

It took us years to figure out how the trucker hat trend worked but unfortunately, we figured it out way after it was trendy. Now that the beard thing is still happening, we'd like to understand it now before it becomes so 2008. Among other things, we want to know if we'd be cooler just by growing a beard. Anyways, can anyone explain all of this to us?

So you know how earlier I said I had a problem with sports shows that had some over-the-top finale by the underdog team that is won with an over-the-top play? That actually kinda described the Superbowl. That play where Eli almost got sacked, then slunk away, then threw that what-the-hell pass that the receiver inexplicably caught was pretty much something you'd only see in those sports movies but never actually see in an actual game.

Except for today.

And as for Tom Petty, he looked a little overwhelmed by performing, which makes some sense as he's not the kind of performer who plays to those kind of big crowds. On the other hand, he's one of the few performers out there anywhere who is in some way pretty much liked by everyone. Not like-like (well, there are a few) but I can't think of many people who don't like him in some way, a pretty rare feat for any musician who's been around for thirty-odd years.

But one thing, though, he played three songs from his one certifiable masterpiece, Full Moon Fever, a disc he actually recorded as a solo artist without the Heartbreakers so I always kind of wondered what the rest of the band felt knowing that he wrote his best stuff without him. The thing about that album, though, is that it doesn't really hold up that well because it was produced by Geoff Lynne who is without a doubt the worst producer to ever set foot in a recording studio- all that cheesy overdubs and fake background singing all edge being whithered away by whimsical cuteness. Listen to that album now-- it doesn't sound right. Which is why I much prefer "Wildflowers" which I think is a brilliant album, albeit a little too long.

Oy, yes, it's twelve and I'm rambling but today got me all riled up.

So Super Tuesday is next Tuesday and for the most part, Tuesday is Go time in the election. Whoever does better between Hillary and Obama gets the bead on the candidacy. Obviously, this is of great interest because I've drank the Obama kool-aid and then drank it again.

Despite my affection for Bill, Hillary has kind of bugged me. I don't doubt she'd be a decent President (the bar is mighty low these days) but it's the dynastic portion of her candidacy, the fact that she comes off like she's owed this election that kind of grates. Not to mention that despite the supposed Girl Power symbolism her election would mean, the reality is that she wouldn't be even near where she is if she wasn't married to somebody famous. If her name was Hillary Jones, nobody would care.

But whatever, I'd still vote for her in a general election without worrying about it.

Like a lot of people, however, the past few weeks has grated on me and I don't really like her anymore. I don't even really like her husband anymore. It's like the week before and after South Carolina, the facade was stripped off the both of them, revealing the cynical, calculating, sense of entitlement that lurks beneath them. It also brought back what somebody in the New Yorker referred to as "the circus" those two bring with them.

If you read the press, there's a lot of Obama-mania out there. Republicans breaking down in tears during his speeches, young people getting off of Facebook long enough to go vote for him, lepers being cured just at the sound of his voice. At this particular moment it actually looks like somebody who does represent major change and hope, a candidacy based primarily on idealism than anything else might actually win.

But, of course, he won't win. Because cynical and calculating always beat idealistic. Because our election system is severerly twisted and beaten and is geared towards the lowest common denominator winning. And because the mass of voters out there still think "Oh, it's a Clinton-- I've heard of her. I've heard a little about Obama but I've been too busy watching American Gladiator to pay attention to the election."

Just you wait and see.

So today I had that interview with that place that kind of forgot to let me know that they wanted to bring me back for another interview. When I got there, they didn't really have a record of me coming in for the interview. Something which I kind of expected, actually.

Luckily, some dude appeared out of nowhere, said he was the guy who had an interview, asked me if I was him and then off to the interview. Thing is, though, the HR person didn't really tell him who I was. Or what I was interviewing for. Or pretty much anything-- he just got some email saying he had an interview at 5. He hadn't even seen my resume. So, with all that, he just basically said "well, whadda ya got for me?" and I went on to do usual shpiel, trying to say whatever I thought I needed to say from what I had figured out about what they were looking for. At the end, he said "I'm good," ran off to check in with the HR person to see if there was anything else they needed, and with that, the interview was over.

Again, none of this was that much of a surprise.

Yeah, I know, companies are never as desperate to hire somebody as much as the interviewee is desperate to be hired. Still, if you're going to make somebody leave work early, rush home from work while driving in a nasty rainstorm, and drag their ass over there for an interview, the least they can do is make some sort of effort. It's kind of, well, kind of disrespectful. It might not that important to them but it is to the person who is doing all that. Which, of course, matters not to anyone who sets these things up. I'm pretty sure an HR person has never said "Gosh, we didn't quite treat that person that well, maybe we should apologize or go out of our way to help him if we bring them in for another interview?"

All of which is another reason why HR people roast like pigs on a spit in hell when they die.

Okay, so you're Luke Skywalker. As we all know, at the very last second and with the fate of the rebel alliance on his shoulders, he let's the force be with him and switches off his radar as he fires the torpedo down the shaft of the Death Star. A pretty ballsy move if you ask me, if only because if he missed, the planet would have been destroyed, the Death Star would still be in operation and only a rag-tag fleet of planes would be able to assemble somewhere else to continue on with the rebellion, their forces depleted. And if that all happened, Luke would then have to explain that the reason why he turned off the radar, or whatever that was, was because he heard the voice of a half-senile old man in his head telling him to trust his feelings.

I'm guessing that wouldn't go over very well.

So I'm watching the tv coverage of Obama beating Hillary in SC and everyone seems mystified that Obama won such a majority of black voters. And again, you just want to shout at the tv "that's because he's black you motherfucking idiots. Why wouldn't he get all of their votes."

And also, the spin seems to be that Barack only won because he got the black vote and and just chalk it off to him just being a black candidate in a predominately black dominated state, despite the fact they never say something like "well, Hillary won New Hampshire because it's a predominately white state."

Or something like that. Either way, I hate the fucking campaign pundits.

So today is the South Carolina primary and I love how they've been conducting all these polls that show that while Obama is doing very well with blacks, he's not doing very well with whites. So all the pundits and media are trying to figure out what it all means when it's just obvious that the reason why he's not doing well with white people in South Carolina is because, hello-- it's South Carolina.

And, yes, I might be stereotyping a bit, but if you're going to keep the stars and bars and your state flag, you gotta accept everyone calling you a bunch of knuckle-dragging hillbilly rednecks.

And, so, hey, I called that place yesterday, the agency that had me interview for two different jobs at once. I actually got the HR person, which is a little surprising but also presents itself a problem-- I don't think they remember who the hell I am, but what am I supposed to say? So I just say "hi, this is Hooray for Anything..." and left it at that.

She didn't remember me. After a few seconds, she did the "oh...hi...how are you?" with that tone of voice that suggests she still has no idea who I am. So I tell her what I was calling about and what the job title is. A bell sort of went off and she told me they decided to put that position on hold. Oops. But then she rallied and said that one of the jobs (the one I didn't want that much) was on hold but that the job I wanted wasn't on hold and that, essentially, she wanted to bring me back for a second interview but kinda forgot to let me know. Now I have an interview next week.

Here's the thing, though, the fact she completely forgot about me and the job and setting it up could be either bad or good. Here's the breakdown:

Good: she's so flustered that she can't even remember to interview anyone else or invite anybody else, thus clearing a path for me
Bad: She's so flustered that she can't even remember to interview anyone so it'll be months before she puts anything together in hiring anyone.

You know what makes you feel really good when you're about to get laid off? News all over the place that the economy is about to go in the toilet.

Yay?

Anyways, just to keep everyone abreast of the sitch, in the past week, I

-Got an email from a place that blew me off saying they have another position opening up and whether or not I'd like to come in this time.
-Did a phone interview with somebody who came off right quick as crazy. The type of person who asks me about where I grew up and why I came to California before even asking me about my skills on the job. I knew something was up when in an email she asked me if I read Hebrew. Turns out the printing company she works for does a lot of work for synagogues. Now, nothing against synagogues, but I don't see them paying very well. Or being that exciting. Regardless, I don't know why she'd think I'd go from four years doing direct marketing at Super Mondo Corp to direct marketing for Temple Beth Siduit
-Got another email from a company in Santa Cruz. Bad, right? Except they said I can telecommute. Good, right? In all honesty, I dunno. I kinda like the idea of working from home but it's too easy to think you're at home and start doing things you'd normally do when you're home. Like watch tv. Or surf the web. Or go see bargain matinees.

And finally...

Last week I had an interview at an agency. A really good agency. After the interview, I had fallen in love with the place and agency. I thought I did really well in the interview too, with somebody even telling me she'd like to bring me back to meet with her boss. Haven't heard back from them, of course, and I didn't get an email giving me the standard "position is closed" or the line that's really popular these days: we have an internal candidate.

The thing is that I was supposed to go in the interview for an online job, the kind of job I'm looking for. But they threw me a loop and had my first interview be with somebody who does mainly print. Okay, I can do that. I kinda like doing that, but wha? I kept on thinking in my head if I got this job mixed up with another job. Plus, I was all prepared to say one thing but found myself desperately scrambling to say what I needed in this particular interview.

So they leave and in comes somebody to talk to me about an online job. So I switch gears again and talk online, still massively confused as to what the hell is going on and why is it that two different people gave me two different descriptions of the job. It kinda reminded me of the dot.com days when you'd interview for a job nobody quite knew what the job exactly was so you'd hear three or four descriptions of the job while interviewing with people.

Anyways, then the HR person comes in and I actually tell her I'm kinda confused as to what's going on and that two people gave me two different descriptions of the job. You know, to let her know that people are confused out there. Turns out another job opened up and they decided to throw me in there just to see how I'd do.

And how'd I do? Well, naturally, confused.

The pisser of it is that if I knew I was up for the first job, I would have said what I needed to say and probably had a better shot getting that job then the job I interviewed for. Mainly because my interview with the dude was one of the best one's I've had.

C'est la vie.

So I've spent a lot of time over the years looking for work. I've also spent a lot of time being rejected while looking for work. And just when I thought I had heard everything in terms of rejections, from the place that kinda sorta wanted to hire me and kinda sorta wanted to give me another change at the end of January, there comes this:

Hi Jon -- Thanks for checking in. Turns out I am leaving Screwy Ad Agency. Back to freelancing for me! Since we did not make a hiring decision while I am still here, I don't think one is going to get made. I think you'll have to consider this opportunity closed. Good luck to you!

Alright, I'm all better now and back to the ole blogging.

So I haven't been writing much about the job search. Part of it is denial that I'm doing it. And part of it is because I've done it before. Writing about looking for work on "Hooray" is like Ben Stiller deciding to do another movie in which he plays a neurotic Jewish guy with a hair-trigger temper. Or U2 doing another album full of semi-heart lifting anthems meant to inspire everyone to end war and feed everyone in Africa personally.

So I'm not. At least for now.

But for those looking for some job-hunting goodness, here's what I got for you:

-The crazy place I interviewed for, the one with the guy who rambled on for 45 minutes without really letting me speak didn't even bring me back for the second round of interviews. For whatever reason, I did something in those few sentences that I was able to speak to let them know I wasn't the right fit for the job.

-Some design agency left a message for me to call them back for an interview so I did. Never heard back from them. A recruiter then tried to get me into that agency for an interview but wasn't able to. Then another person at said agency saw my resume posted and called me for a phone interview. They never called me back. The job, however, keeps on being posted and reposted again.

-An agency I spoke to today had on their web site a picture of employees playing foozball in their office. The job listing also mentioned that people at the agency work hard but are also experts at "Guitar Hero."

-And finally, the agency that kinda sorta wanted to hire me and kinda sorta wanted to check in with me if things fall apart with the person they kinda sorta hired instead kinda sorta has the position open again. So I sent them a "hey, what's going on?" email. So far, they haven't responded.

You'd figure if they need somebody, they like me, and I want to work for them, they'd say hell to the ya. But......

Sorry for the lack of posting, but I've had a busy week or so. I've:
-rewatched season 4 of the Wire
-started watching Friday Night Lights
-recorded every episode of Everest: Beyond Limits from the previous season, to which I am catching up on
-started watching and recording both Ghost Hunting and Paranormal State.

I can't recommend Paranormal State, btw, because despite it's kinda cool concept- college students go out investigating cases of hauntings and/or demons, it's really kind of too slickly produced to make it that believable. On the other hand, how many shows feature a demon haunting a trailer in a trailer park home in which the demon possesses some 250 pound guy named Tiny with a god-awful moustache, leading to an actual excorcism. In the trailer, mind you.

Two things about that show I'd like to add:
1)In every single episode, the members of the group try and rid something of evil spirits and it always involves some sort of Catholic ritual/saying/excorcism technique. Considering all that, what the hell is someone supposed to do if they get chased by a demon and are Jewish? That whole "the power of Christ compels" you thing probably might be a little awkward. Or maybe Jews don't get chased by demons unless Jewish mothers count.

2)If I knew of some sort of paranormal investigating group in college, or right after post-college, I'd be totally into joining. I love that stuff and some part of me thinks there's something to it. However, I would definately be the type of ghost hunter who upon hearing the slightest sound, would run out of a house as fast as I possibly could.