Tiger, Tiger Burning Bright

I've been kind of enjoying the Tiger Woods "scandal" due to the fact I find Tiger to be possibly the most boring person on the planet. Well, that's not fair as I don't really know him so let's just say he might be the most boring athlete in the world. It's one of the reasons why I could care less about anything he accomplishes in his sport or anything that he does. The fact that I could care less about golf makes it even easier to not care about him.

The thing about Tiger is that he presents a totally bland, corporate, Nikefied persona. He's been so trained to say nothing but completely bland, innocuous and inoffensive things lest he get in trouble with a corporate sponsor, possible shoe buyer, and journalist that he's been completely wiped of a personality. Some stars out there who have been Nikefied still somehow show a dint of personality-- whether it's actually part of their personality is something we'll never know-- and come off a bit more likeable. LeBron has a good sense of humor and appears to really care about winning one for his hometown. Peyton Manning is mayonaise white, kinda goofy and dorky, and seems completely self-aware of just that fact (which is why he's great in all of his commercials). And some athletes strive to be completely Nikefied but either show too much of their personalities to have it work (Kobe), have too exciting of a personal life for people to get away with being seen as boring (Derek Jeter), or have a little too much edge showing through (Michael Jordan, who pretty much defined the Nikefied athlete, could somewhat get away with it because people always felt that he would bet away his mother to some sort of Saudi Opium Den if he liked the odds well enough).

Which leaves us with Tiger who had none of those things-- he never appeared to be "ha ha" funny, he didn't present any sort of personality, and he was completely scrubbed clean of anything possibly interesting. He was just one bland, corporate whoring, golf wizard. When that sportscaster made that quote about Tiger being lynched he just gave a press conference, smiled a whole lot, and said he didn't get offended at all. Nope, wouldn't want say something involving race that could piss somebody off and lose my deal with Buick.

Now that he's in a bit of a controversy, I'm feeling more disposed to Tiger because for the very first time in his public career, he actually let the mask drop a bit and show that he's actually a human being, albeit a super-rich one with a better class of mistresses to choose from. Yes, Tiger actually likes having sex and likes having sex with more than one person. How about that? And Tiger actually screwed something up big time. In fact, Tiger was caught doing pretty much what ever rich celebrity thinks they can do-- have lots of sex and get away with it not just from their wives but the press and police.

Yet still, I'm not impressed. It's only supposedly with one woman, a woman whose threatening to sue over it so it might not even be that woman. And maybe it was just a little fight between husband & wife, albeit one with lots of face scratching. So I'm not there yet. Let me see who the exactly was the Other Woman and what her story is (the sluttier, of course, the better). And let's see what other shoes drop. More women? Sex tape? D Level reality stars? Bisexuality? Coke addiction? Cause the more he shows acting like a human being, the more I'll like the fact that Tiger is a human being.

And if you don't think any of this matters and that it does nothing but harm for the athlete involved, two words: Alex Rodriguez.