At work a few days ago, they held Volunteer Day. The company signed up to do that Project Homeless Connect thing, where volunteers get together and for one day a month help homeless people (all snark aside, it's a pretty cool thing). A lot of people I work with volunteered to help out. I did not. As a contractor, I was left out of the email chain. Also, homeless people smell.

This, however, makes things a little awkward when asked if I was going to volunteer, or, as somebody said, "go help the Homeless." Because there's no way of saying that you're not without sounding like a selfish dick.