As we wait for the premiere of Lost the TV show and Lost my luggage, we decided to get back into this blogging thing. So, I’m back.

And before we start the Big Holiday Recap, I’m going to go with the rant, of course. Because that’s way more fun. Today’s rant? Airplane trips, yay! Because bitching about plane flights is never done.

Coming back from Munich, I had two flights. One of them involved me waiting in line for an hour and a half to get checked in, luggage cluster fucks, pulling an O.J. through the airport, and making it onto the flight with about two minutes to spare. That wasn’t the hell flight.

No, the hell flight was much worse.

Where do I begin? With the fact that even though it was a five hour flight (Charlotte to SF), it was one of those tiny, sardine can type flights. The kind where everyone is stuffed in and completely uncomfortable and there’s so many people stuffed in there that no matter how much ventilation they pump into the airplane, the flight is still going to be all hot and stuffy because of there being too many people in too small a space. The plane was old looking too, like it had faded carpeting and rinky-dink viewing screens and I swear I saw stains in the carpeting and it wouldn’t have surprised me if first class had wood paneling.

Flight takes off and they announce that in order to see the movie, you’ll have to pay $5 for the headphones. Which would be okay if it wasn’t for the fact that the movie was "The Sisterhood of the Lost Pants," a movie nobody in their right mind would want to see unless they were a thirteen year old girl. Didn’t really matter, though, because the video broke about ten minutes into it and so there was no movie to watch.

The food you also had to pay for. $7 for a sandwich or a salad. Since I was really hungry, I was kind of into the food, especially since I had this wacky idea that I’d get served on the plane and so didn’t buy some food at the Charlotte airport. Unfortunately, I was out of luck with the food because they ran out. The sandwiches were gone halfway through the plane and the salad about three rows in front of me. Now, how do you run out of food on a five hour flight that’s sold out? And thanks for making it fair for all the people sitting in the back, people like me.

But the final straw, the kicker in all this was the one, the only, the thing that makes everyone on a flight go "oh shit" -- the screaming baby. The screaming baby that sat in the row in front of me. And it wasn’t like the screaming wasn’t that bad, it was the occasional messy diaper and the messy diaper smell that wafted through the stuffy air. Then there was the fact that all the women in the plane thought it was just the cutest thing ever and so whenever they stopped by, would bend over and do the goo-goo-gah-gah’s with the baby. Oh, and did I mention the baby let loose with the binky towards the end of the flight and hit me on the head?

All this too, after a ten hour flight out of Munich, after a long week long trip through Europe, and after getting not much sleep the night before because two drunken Irish dudes knocked on my hotel door at 3:30 in the morning to ask if I wanted to go to a strip club.