Okay, so you discover that your Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great, Great Grandfather was Jesus. What do you do? Do you just keep it quiet and try to live a normal life, all the while knowing that you hold like the biggest secret in the history of the world? Try not telling that secret when your drunk. And how do you go back to the real world if you know that. Just imagine being at work and totally hating your job and getting bitched at by your boss. You gotta be thinking "Fuck that, I'm a descendant of Jesus. I'm outta here."

Or do you do the full Oprah, reality show, party circuit thing? That's gotta be fun, but imagine the pressure. Get caught drunk on camera or snogging some dude and it's "Mary Magdaline's Grand Daughter is a Tramp" headlines. Imagine the crazies coming out of nowhere asking to be healed or blessed or endorsement for political office. Wouldn't you want to call up all the people who screwed you over in some ways and lord it over them too? You know, like the boss who fired you at Starbucks? "Yeah, hello, Jenna? Well, guess what. I'm the daughter of Christ. Yep, that's right. And you know what? Your going to hell." Wouldn't that be fun?

Either way, you got major pressure on you to have children. And considering that people are trying to off the blood line, lots of children. You basically gotta start spawning as fast as you can. That's pressure right there. And what about all the ex-boyfriends? You'd think they'd be all stoked, you know, like "dude, I nailed Jesus' granddaughter" but, instead, they'd probably be thinking "oh dear, God, I am so going to hell for doing that with her and that night in the backseat of the limo? Totally fried." Or imagine if you were the ex-boyfriend and you cheated on her. Imagine the guilt about that. And don't even get me started if you had an "experimental phase" in college. That's so going to cause problems with the Vatican.

Yes, I just saw "The Da Vinci Code," why do you ask?