Yes, I stole this idea, but....

National Review's attempts at coming up with 50 Conservatives has pretty much changed how I look at music. Things that I didn't know were conservative, such as the Sex Pistols "Bodies" suddenly appear in a whole new light. It's just a new matter of how I look at things.

So I began to think, maybe even some of my favorite songs are actually conservative in nature. Maybe my favorite songs aren't soulful songs bespeaking the progessive heart, but actually reactionary tunes calling for family values! So I opened up my iPod and hit the first 10 songs I heard and, OH MY GOD, they are conservative! It's all in how you look at it.

Here they are, with my new interpretation. I'm pretty sure my membership to the Young Republic Party should be fairly forthcoming.

The Police- Everything She Does is Magic
Notice this song definately does not say "Everything He Does is Magic." That's because love can only truly be between a man and a woman.

The Beatles- Let It Be
Everyone thinks that "Revolution" is the great anti-revolutionary tract, but this song really is. See, in it's simple plea of letting things be, what Paul McCartney is singing about is the desire for things to be left alone and not to be changed by activist judges.

Primus- Too Many Puppies
You want to know why there's too many puppies? Because who would want to abort puppies? There might be too many puppies, but too many puppies is so much more preferable than too many aborted puppy fetuses.

NWA Straight Out of Compton-
See liberals would make you believe that the only way out of Compton is thorugh big government and racial recriminations. But as this song shows, the only way out of Compton is to work hard, save, adhere to traditional values and lower capital gains taxes.

Ratt- Lay It Down
Listen to these lyrics: "I know you only want romance/I'll give you all that I can/If you'll give me just one chance/To prove myself and my love". You know what this song is really about? Abstinence. What do you think they mean when they say "romance?"

Tool- Hooker With a Penis
I can't figure this one out and why it would be conservative. Maybe because it's about Anne Coulter.

Montel Jordan This is How We Do It
Cut taxes, bash gays and Mexicans, invade foreign countries without international support....this is how WE do it.

Cake- Mr. Mastadon Farm
Evolutionists would say that Mastadon's lived in a time very long ago when man was barely evolved. But if that was true, how could there be a Mastadon farm? The only way there could have been a farm would have been if the world was created by God in six days.

99 Problems Jay-Z
You want to know why Jay has 99 problems but his bitch aint' one of them? Because by having a wife and a family, he is truly living up to God's blessing and showing correct family values.

Soundgarden Blow Up the Outisde World
I don't think there's ever a better to song to describe our proper response if somebody hates our freedoms.