If you read through yesterday's unemployment numbers, you'll find some pretty depressing numbers. The numbers are even worse if you add what they call "discouraged workers" into the mix who are somehow dropped from the official totals because, well, you know..."quitters!"

But I think "discouraged workers" is an unfair term to call these folks because of the above reasons, that they don't count. By not counting them, it's sort of implying that they're "living on the dole" or just taking welfare money because they've lost their pluck. Therefore, I propose these titles as a way of maybe putting a better light on things-

-"Crawled on a couch in their pajamas softly crying into their whiskey glasses"
-"Busy packing to move back in with their parents well into their adult hood"
-"Taking a mental health break and catching up on all the previous seasons of 'Lost' before the new season begins."
-"Working on detailed and complicated revenge fantasies involving previous employers/bosses"
-"Contemplating ways to dumb down resume in order to get retail/admin type positions."
-"Trying to start revolution by posting on political blogs about impending takeover by Socialist/Corporatist forces."
-"Working on career change by thinking of all the professions that sound 'cool' only to realize they are completely nonviable and so start the process again to think about more completely nonviable career options."