So apparently, due to everything that's been going on, Drew Barrymore wouldn't attend a premiere of her new movie. And Rosie O'Donnell, who does her show live in the NBC building, packed up and isn't taping her show this week. Christy Turlington has supposedly cancelled her wedding and Ben Stiller wouldn't travel to NY to do SNL. Can you say chicken shits?
I don't know what's lamer about it, the fact that they're obviously doing what we are not supposed to be doing- giving in to fear. Or the fact that they're so self-absorbed that they think they'd be victim of of some sort of
Anthrax/terrorist threat (well, Rosie, maybe, but only because she's annoying as hell). Do they really think that somewhere, out in the cave where Osama bin Laden is hanging out, there's some sort of conversation between Osama and his minions (including, of course, Bert) along the lines of this: "you know, this infidel Christi Turlington is always appearing half naked on the cover of such American dog magazines like "Vogue," which I can show you as soon as Mullah Omar gives it back to me. Maybe, Allah willing, we can strike fear into the hearts of the scantily-clad infidels by having one of our martyrs blow up her wedding and whatever overly chiseled hunky guy she's marrying? What's that Mullah Abdul, it's Ed Burns? Wasn't he dating Heather Graham? Praise be Allah, what I'd do for a recent copy of People Magazine."
Let's face it, if Hollywood had to endure anything like the London Blitz, the only one's left in Hollywood would be the stars' illegal immigrant gardeners (the nannies, of course, would go to with the stars to their bunkers in Wyoming).
We are being tested like we never have been and are not fairing well. I think the biggest thing we need right now would be for W. to go on air and just say something like "just, chill people." Maybe, instead of yet another benefit for the families of the terrorist attack, we should have a major concert just to get people to do just that. Something like "Chill Aid" or "Artists for the Chilling of America." Just get a couple of reggae bands, that'll work. And a trip-hop artist. Or Dave Mathews. Frat boys all across the country think he's great to chill to. Or the Eagles, my friends from college always thought they were the perfect band to kick back, smoke a joint and drink a Corona too. Because that, my friends, is exactly what this country needs right now. To kick back, smoke a joint and drink a Corona and be grateful that it could be a lot worse.
Get Me a Bucket
4 years ago