Doh.

According to the Enquirer or Globe or one of those magazines, Sept. 11th seemed to have scared my favorite First Twins straight and both of them have given up boozing. Damn that Osama. No more stories about my girlfriend Jenna boozing it up in Hollywood and dirty dancing with her fellow interns with Brad Pitt or Barbara doing beer-bongs in Cabo San Lucas with the University of Miami football team. Sigh.

So, with them out of the gossip loop, they seem to be focusing all their attention on poor Chelsea, who having just turned 21 is apparently living it up at Oxford, guzzling vodka till all hours. Which is what, I guess, the Clinton's are really good at. When all else fails, just gossip about them. Poor Chelsea too. Of course she's boozing it up. Who wouldn't blame her if she was found whacked out on Mescaline and tequilla, puking her guts out in a dance club on Ios? Both Bill and Hillary are going to have to earn lots of money just to pay for all the therapy that the poor girl is going to have go through.