If I remember correctly, the best part about watching Live Aid oh those years ago was that MTV actually showed the performances. Like Tom Petty came out in all of his then mutton-chopped glory and they’d actually show all of Tom’s performance. Twenty years later, MTV realized what a stupid way that is to show a concert and decided that what people really want to see are their Veejay’s telling you about what a great concert they’re not showing is.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think I actually witnessed this while watching part of Live 8

Sway: We’re back at the Live 8 performance and we’re just having a great time. Wow! What a show. We’ve seen some great performances here, haven’t we La La?

La La: Yeah. It’s been a great day so far with some great stuff. Let’s show you what you’ve missed. About ten minutes ago, P Diddy actually came out and rapped with the corpse of Biggie Smalls. Let’s show you a bit, A’ight!

They show about fifteen seconds of Diddy rapping with the corpse of Biggie Smalls

Sway: Wow. That was an awesome performance, wasn’t it? Especially when they brought out the corpse of Tupac and Diddy, the corpse of Biggie, and the corpse of Tupac all sang "Give Peace a Chance." What a show. And now, we have Foray out in the crowd.

Foray: Yo, what up, Sway! What a great show, what a great concert. We got close to a million people here in Philly watching this live. And here’s one of them. We Katherine Marie from Haddonfield New Jersey whose standing here watching David Lee Roth perform with Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam. Great show, isn’t it Christina!

Katherine: Whooo!!!!!!!!!!

Foray: What was your favorite part so far?

Katherine: When Destiny’s Children came out and dedicated "Bootlyicious" to the starving people in Ethiopia. That was awesome!

Foray: What brought you to the show today, Katherine?

Katherine: Well, I came because of the music, of course. I love Beyonce! Whooo!!!!!!!!!! Can I just say hi to my friends Theresa Marie and Marie Theresa? Hi girls!

Foray: And what about the message?

Katherine: Oh, like, I came for the message definitely too. It’s like sooo important to like help all those people who are like dying of that thing in that place. Free Africa!!!!!!!

Foray: Thanks Katherine. Now back to Sway.

Sway: Thanks Foray. We’re now going live to London to talk to Toure. Toure, what up dog?

Toure: Yo, thanks Sway. What can I say, it’s been a great show. Hasn’t it Play?

Play: Yes. It’s been the greatest show I’ve ever seen. And let’s check out a performance. We just saw Pink Floyd reuinte not only with Roger Waters but founding member Syd Barret too. The performance was so good the first hundred people in the audience all achieved nirvana and disappeared. Let’s check it out.

They show about fifteen seconds of Pink Floyd.

Toure: Wow, what a show. I’ve never seen a better performance ever. For all of you watching on TV, you’re missing quite a show. That was easily the best performance of the day right after U2’s performance. Holla at ya Sway!

Sway: Thanks Toure and Play. No doubt on the U2 show. We saw the rainbows breaking out all over London while Dick Cheney personally called Bono in the middle of "One" to renounce everything he’s ever done in his life in the background while you were interviewing Sum-41. And now we’re going to go to a live discussion with Chris Martin of Coldplay and Melinda from Real World Austin on free trade policy. Coming up after that, we’ll have ten minutes of commercials for zit cream and the new Dukes of Hazard movie and then we’ll show you the Who, as they jam with the ghosts of John Entwhistle and Keith Moon. They not only smashed all of their instruments, but all of Hyde Park too! Wow, what a show!