Yes, it's Self-Loathing Week here at Hooray for Anything- something which should be of much comfort for those of you who've been complaining that this site hasn't been as much fun as it was when I was unemployed.

So, without further ado- You Know You Hate Your Job When…

You bike into work, almost get hit by a car and kind of wish you were.

You make it through the night on wine, Alka Seltzer, and Tylenol PM

You haven't listened to nearly as much Nirvana as you have in years.

You start missing unemployment stress and look back on those days fondly.

You have a career-change epiphany that involves working in a book store or becoming a Park Ranger. Something quiet, something stress free, something easy.

You start missing your suck-ass previous job and wondered why you even left in the first place.

Part of you starts wondering what sort of envelope can be pushed that'll get your ass fired and kind of wish the boss will just do it anyways so you can end your misery.

You gauge the mood of your boss by how many times she slams down her phone and decide to avoid her at all costs after the third slam in the first hour. And all this after she got back from a vacation.

Life's funny sometimes. You think you finally get the Dream Job- the job that'll make it all better, the job that'll make the previous three years worthwhile- and instead you wind up with a job in which the boss responds to a question by sputtering and gurgling before she can answer your question. And all because you didn't read all the way to the bottom of one of those FW:FW:FW:FW e-mails that she forwarded to you without mentioning that the most important thing was at the bottom of the e-mail. Not to mention upset because you didn't then go ahead and forward that FW:FW:FW:FW e-mail because it's your personal opinion that FW:FW:FW:FW e-mails are lame.


You can't fire me because I quit
Throw me in the fire and I won't throw a fit.