This weekend, in the hood, both the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormons were going door-to-door, saving souls. I wonder, though, if they say have their territories. Do they just double-up on people and let the best God win? Or do like the Mormons get everything up from 24th and the Witnesses' have everything below 24th? And if so, how did that work out? And what happens if one starts crossing into the other religions' territory? And if one religion does, is there a rumble? Does it get all West Side Story?

Now, that's a great parody if ever there was. Just imagine the songs: "I want to live in Utah" or "I feel Holy." And imagine lyrics like "When you're a Mormon/You're a Mormon all the way/From your first Jesus Jammie/To your last dyin' day."