At 9:45 this morning, while still laying in bed, the phone rang. Thinking it was a friend trying to coordinate plans for the day, I got out of bed to go pick it up. It wasn't my friend. Instead, it was somebody from "John Kerry." Yes, as in that John Kerry. And yes, the election is way over.

Now I was getting e-mails from him off and on since then, but have since put him into such a spam filter that I don't get his e-mails anymore. The phone call bit, though, was new. And all things considering, I was not amused. Did I mention that it was at 9:45 in the morning?

All I can say is this, Dear John: You lost. Big time. And your loss wasn't some "Rocky" type loss where you were the upstart inspiring underdog who gained respect enough in losing. Nor was a "Bad News Bears" type loss where you lost but won for not selling your soul and showing everyone how to do it right. And it definately wasn't a "Braveheart" type loss where you lost the battle only to inspire a bunch of people to win the war. Nope, it was a plain old loss. Because you sucked. Because you were a pompous windbag who couldn't beat an illiterate smirker whose main campaign slogan was "it's hard." In fact, I'm sure I'm not the only one who is slightly glad you didn't win only because you saved us from four years of your boring monotone robotic style. Yeah, this country would be better if you were President, but in some way's, it's easier to take Bush as President. Because hating on such a purer emotion than embarassed rationalizing.