I wonder how many Senators or Congressman sat there, during the State of the Union address and, while Bush is going on and on about all this supposed legislation he's supporting ("I'm for Clean Air! And I want to get rid of fuel combustion engines! And all I'm saying is Give Peace a Chance!"), think about doing the whole cough while saying "bullshit" move. Wouldn't it be kind of cool? Or imagine if somebody just broke out in peals of laughter instead.

And wouldn't it be cool too if all the women in Joe Millionaire got together and said "you know, this is kind of lame and the guy's a bit of a dork, so let's just skeedaddle." Or hell, if one of the women just said to the camera "he's just dumb and not my type and I don't really care about money anyways" and left on their own accord?

And do you think the Joe Millionaire guy is kind of bummed these days knowing that he could have picked the one who was doing bondage flicks? She's pretty hot too.

Maybe I should sign up to be on the next Joe Millionaire. Man, it would be a pretty exciting show. Within weeks, all of them would tell me how much they like me, but not like-like me and then tell me how much they hope that they could still hang out and be friends. Throw in Corey Feldman and I think we'd have something.

Mine's a tale that can't be told, my freedom I hold dear.
How years ago in days of old, when magic filled the air.
T'was in the darkest depths of Mordor, I met a girl so fair.
But Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her, her, her....yeah.


Gonna ramble on, sing my song. Gotta keep-a-searchin' for my baby...
Gonna work my way, round the world. I can't stop this feelin' in my heart
Gotta keep searchin' for my baby. I can't find my bluebird!