One day when it was raining, I saw a homeless man, fast asleep on the street. As I stepped over him on my to BART, I couldn't but admire the guy. I mean, it's raining out and he's lying on a sidewalk with hundreds of people stepping over him. Yet he's still fast asleep. How does he do it? There's no way in hell I could sleep in those conditions.

The thing is that I'm a total Princess in a Pea. Or Princess with a Pea. Or whatever the hell the name of that damn fable is. I can't sleep in new beds, I can't sleep on floors, I can't sleep in any position than other than on my stomache, and yet here's this guy whose sleeping on a sidewalk. In the rain too. Amazing.

It's just another reason why I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant for the army. Those poor guys often have to sleep in the worst conditions. Like in a desert or a jungle or some bombed out village. And it doesn't matter if it's raining out or snowing out or there's big ass scorpions running around everywhere. Remember all those scenes in Platoon where the Platoon was trying to sleep at night? No way in hell would I be able to sleep like that. Yet they have no choice. It's not like they can quickly hop to a Motel 6 or something. And I don't even want to get into my insomnia or occasional anxiety attacks in the middle of the night.

If I were in the army, I'd totally be the guy who gets his entire company ambushed because I'd fall asleep at the point after not sleeping for a week.

I am so not an Army of One.