This week's Bay Guardian Wank of the Week is a little different this time. Instead of going with a "I've studied lots and lots of post-modernist theory. I'm smart!" snippet, I'm instead going with a "I'm so hip I need to be bitch-slapped" snippet.

From the opening paragraph about the story on this week's Ladyfest 2004-

"THE DAY I left Olympia, Wash., in early August 2000 at the end of Ladyfest, a five-day celebration of women's work in arts and activism, I had a lot on my mind. The long list of agenda items included such diverse topics as what I might contribute to my new friend P.J.'s zine, how I would find time to teach myself to play bass guitar, whether it was true you could use soy milk instead of wheat paste to put up flyers, and what it would take to get the Gossip to come play in my town."


Which reminds me of this thing I wrote a long, long time ago after returning from a friend's bachelor party in Vegas:

"The day I left Vegas, in spring 1997 at the end of Tony's Bachelor Party, a three day celebration of boozing, babes, and black jack, I had a lot on my mind. The long list of agenda items included such diverse topics as when to double-down and when not to, does blacking out and waking up right underneath the Roller Coaster at New York, New York a sign I had too many Gin n' Tonics , where not to put my hands during a lap-dance, and what it would take to go wash the puke off my Hawaiian shirt. "