Due to current recent events involving my employment status, I am considering a career change. After two bad job experiences, I am thinking about a nice, mellow job. You know, like working in a bookstore or a video store. Something where all you do all day is hangout and where nothing stressful ever happens. After all, life is difficult enough without having to deal with megalomaniac head's of companies or emotionally unstable bosses. Who needs a stupid career anyways? Didn't someone once say "ambition bites the nails of success"?, whatever the hell that means.

But where or where to find that kind of a job?

Today, I found it. One of the neighborhood's "alternative" independent bookstores is hiring part-time counter people. Perfect. Of course, I have no actual experience working in bookstores, but how hard can that be? The way I see it that I've worn a polyesther jungle outfit and worked the counter at an Amusement Park one summer. If I can do that, I can handle a bookstore. Hell, I've done food service, damnit.

This being the Mission, however, means that there are a few quirky aspects to the job, aspects that might cause problems in getting hired. The first one actually makes sense- knowledge of books. They even say they're going to test applicants. Easy, right? I was an English Major after all. And I read lots and lots of books. The only problem there is that while I might know my classic literature and Romantic Poets, I'm not quite up on my literature of the Oppressed Third World Masses, Gender Studies Anthologies, or obscure comic books printed at Kinko's.

The other problem is that they're looking for someone who can speak Spanish. Which makes sense, I guess, since the Mission is a Hispanic neighborhood. And, as we all know, Hispanics love their alternative bookstores. Cause most non-English speaking people wanna read Fat Bull Dyke Monthly.

Oh yeah, there's another catch- I know too many frickin' people in this city and I know too many people who hang out in the Mission. Can't think of anything more humiliating than seeing an ex-coworker or some girl who shafted me walk into the store one night and wonder what the hell I'm doing beyond the counter of a book store.