One of the only few things I remember from Moby Dick, other than it being pretty darn boring, is a scene where a crewman goes man overboard and finds himself alone in the Ocean. While afloat in the water and with the Pequod nowhere to be seen, the sailor stares out into the endless ocean. As he stares out into the huge and endless void that is the ocean, he slowly goes insane.

If you want to know what unemployment is like, it's like that. Except instead of seeing nothing but water, water everywhere, you see nothing but time. Man, do I got too much time on my hands.

This is what it's like- one of the things I can do to occupy my time is do my yoga classes. For the most part, there are classes at 9 am, noon, 6 and 7:30. When I worked, it was easy to know which close to go to- the 7:30 one, right when I got home from work. If I missed going to class it was because I was either stuck at work or because I was too burnt out from work. Now, I find myself not going to class only because I can't decide which class to go to. I could go to the 9, but I've usually been waking up at 8-8:30 and can't get motivated enough to go. Besides, I got plenty of time to go that day. Noon class comes up and I decide not to go to that one because it'll mean not eating lunch and I'm hungry and besides, I still have plenty of time to go to classes that night. Also, I like taking the class at night because that means I technically have something to do that night. Six is too early because then I'll have the rest of the night with nothing to do, so 7:30 it is. But sometimes there is no 7:30 class and sometimes I have every intention of going but then I flip on the TV for a bit and F/X is airing Buffy episodes "Graduation Day I" and "Graduation Day II" back-to-back and I love those episodes. And you know, I could always go the next morning. So the next morning at 9 it is. But then 9 comes and it's a repeat of the day before.

Even small things become huge things. I finally got a haircut today after debating about it for a week. The debate wasn't on whether or not to get a haircut, but when to get a haircut. I could get one anytime I wanted to because I had plenty of time to get one, so why should I go now? I'll just go after I finish reading this Web site. Or reading the third book I've read in a week. Or maybe I'll get one tomorrow because I have nothing to do tomorrow but then when tomorrow comes, I realize I have nothing to do the next day so I decide to do it the next day.

Everyday I wake up and think to myself that since it's beautiful out there, it would be really fun to go hang out in an outdoor café and read and write. Get some sun, get out of the Fortress of Solitude, and go hang out. Just do something. But, of course, why should I go now when I can go in an hour? And if I do it today, then what'll I do tomorrow.

I used to be pretty good at this too- this whole being unemployed, wasting time thing. Hell, I've had plenty of time to practice it. Just, for some reason, I can't remember what I used to do.

I'm so frickin' bored.