I hate it when you go see a movie and half-way through the movie you have to pee. The movie's kind of ruined from thereon out. Part of you is watching the movie while the other part of you is trying to calculate just how long it'll take to run to the bathroom and back versus just how long you can hold on for. If you decide to go, you have to sit there using all of your cinematic experiences to determine just when the appropriate moment will be to go (like, say, a romantic interlude) and hope that in that few minutes that you're gone, you don't miss the coolest scene in the world. But if you decide to hold it in, you have to spend the rest of the movie fighting off the urge to piss and constantly thinking to yourself "well, damnit, maybe I should go…." but too afraid to risk it. By the time the movie's ending, all you can think is how much you want the damn movie to be over because all you want to do is take a piss, nevermind if like Darth Vader is telling Luke that he's his father or some dude is about to give this long exposition to Neo about that's gonna make everything make even less sense than it already does.

PS- Pirates of the Caribbean is totally better than Seabiscuit. The entire movie's worth it just to watch Johnny Depp chew more scenery than the shark in Jaws. Playing the Pirate Captain as Keith Richards was frickin' brilliant.