After years of searching the Web for just the one article that could help me make my life better, I think I finally found one. Courtesy of MSN's "Hot Stories" link section )a section that apparently sees nothing hot about the Abramoff scandal, NSA leaks, or the Alito hearings) we get this story: Celeb love lessons: What not to do. Apparently, according to this article the next time I'm dating someone, I should not proclaim my love for her on the couch of the Oprah show, deny it to press and try and hide it from paparazzi (a problem all too frequent these days), and marry a freeloading backupdancer whose already spawned two children with a previous SO.

I feel empowered with knowledge now.

Thank you, MSN. Thank you.