Me at the local bagel shop, a play in one act.

Me: Hi, I'd like a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese & lox

Bagel Guy (BG): takes a few seconds to replyWhat kind of bagel?

Me: Eh, poppy seed.

BG: With cream cheese?

Me: Yes, and lox.

BG: With lox?

Me: Yes, and with no capers or onions or anything else

BG: With capers and onions

Me: No. With nothing on it.

BG: Tomatoes?

Me: (trying not to sound exasperated or like I'm still needing coffee) No, nothing.