I have ants. All over the place.

Ants have made themselves so comfortable in my kitchen they've pretty much set up drum circles and ultimate frisbee games. So I called my new landlord to have something done about it. And yeah, I could use traps and I did, but my old landlord used to have somebody spray the place every month and the new landlord hasn't and I think he should. Plus, the traps have worked, but not 100% Ants crawling around my dishes icks me out.

So the landlord called yesterday and told me that he can have somebody come by, but only in the morning and that I had to be there. I told him I'd be there and so he called me back to say he can have somebody come out between 9-10.

It's 9:15 in the morning and I'm lying in bed, thinking about going back to sleep and realize that I shouldn't because somebody could be coming by any moment now so I quickly put on sweats and watch TV.

Nobody comes.

It gets way past 10 and still nobody hasn't shown up. And I'm in a dilemna- I want to take a shower and get some coffee and the paper, but I can't leave my apartment nor can I do anything that will make me unable to answer the door when they come. Like take the shower. Even worse, I don't have my cell phone on me (left it in a friend's car) and so if they tried to call me to let me know they were late or to check in, I wouldn't know because I only gave them my cell number.

10 crawls by and it gets onto 11. Then 11:30. The landlord hasn't called me back and I'm busy making plans with friends about what to do to watch the football games, plans which are complicated by the fact I can't leave my apartment until somebody shows up.

Twelve comes and goes and still no ant sprayer. It gets to 12:25 and I decide to say screw it, they're not showing up and hop in the shower.

Couple minutes into the shower, the doorbell rings. Of course.

So what do I do? I stand there and decide to take my shower. I like showers. Plus, they made me sit around for three hours and I'll be damned if I'm going to change things around because they're three hours late. If the guys double-parked and pissed off that nobody's buzzing him back, screw him. That's what he gets for being three hours late. And yes, I do realize I'm being just like Kramer.

The thing is that I want the ants to be-gone. I don't like the ants. But right now it's the principal the matter, the fact that he had me by the short hairs for three hours and I'm not going to let him get me by the short hairs again. Plus, I'm completely naked and wet.


Except the guy keeps on buzzing and knocking on the door and not leaving me along to enjoy my shower. Which is kind of the whole point of showering, to enjoy it. Well, that and cleanliness but whatever. But after the third knock on the door and fear that he's going to start calling both my cell and home phone, thus meaning I'm about to enjoy a symphony of phone rings, I get out of the shower, put on a towel, and open the door to let the guy in to kill some ants.