Now here's a shocker:
Bush Is Expected to Say Iraq Failed to Meet U.N. Terms

Anyone surprised by this? Anyone think the Bushies were ever gonna own up to the possibility that Saddam might not have any "weapons of mass destruction?" Anyone ever think that after inspectors had left, they'd come out and announce to the world "well, whadda ya know, how about that? Turns out the guy's clean. Oh well, nevermind."

Generals gathered in their masses…just like witches at black masses

And here's another story, this one about those crazy Mormons, them of the Jesus Jammies and the and the no drinking Coke thing. Turns out they have been "posthumously" baptizing people who are dead. Meaning way dead, not just recently deceased, just had a funeral dead. Which is kind of hard, if you think about it, because it's not like there's a body around to actually dunk in water and if there is- ewwww. Some of those people who have been baptized Mormon, it turns out, are Jews.

This, for some reason, has pissed off leaders of the Jewish community. Some Jews are a little miffed that instead of taking all the time to try and convert Jews while they're alive, the Mormons have been saving themselves the hassle and converting them after their dead. Not only that, they've been "baptizing" Jews who were killed during the Holocaust, including the most famous murdered Jew of them all- Anne Frank.

Which is really sweet of the Mormons, if you think about it. It's really, really nice that they're honoring people who were killed for being Jewish by trying to keep the souls from going to hell for being Jewish. Do I even have to draw a map of the irony there?

The even weirder thing is that they've also posthumously baptised Ghengis Khan, Joan of Arc, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin and Buddha". In other words, the founder of one of the biggest and most benevolent faiths in the world, a Saint, a noted Big Bad Barbarian/ruler of Central Asia, and two of the most evil people ever put on the face of the earth. And that's an understatement. I can't say for sure, but I think it would be a safe guesstimate that between Stalin and Hitler, they were responsible for at least the deaths of 30 million people. And often, in not the nicest of ways (see Anne Frank).

First of all, huh? Why them? Why not baptize, say, Caesar, Trotsky, or Elvis too? Especially Elvis? Second of all, what does it say to all those poor Jews whose souls have been saved if they've also gone to the trouble of saving the souls of Stalin and Hitler? Also, not that I believe in Heaven, but if there were ever two people who deserved to go to Hell- and not just in a spending all eternity in the fiery pits of hell kind of hell but a going-medieval-on-their-ass while being-forced- to-listen-to-Mariah-Carey kind of hell, it would be those two.

So, speaking as a Jew, I'd just like to add this little note to those Mormons- bite me.