Here's an interesting game to play: Which recent news item really is the sign of the apocalypse?

-Nicole Richie Marrying Justin Guarini?

-The fact that Madonna won't perform on Friday night's because it's Shabbat and she's now Jewish?

-and from the same article....so is Britney? (funny, she doesn't look Jewish).

-The 27 year old woman on MTV's "I Want a Famous Face" (a show that definately proves we've entered height of Roman Empire decadence) who got a breast and face job in order to achieve fame and fortune as a Britney Spears impersonator?

-The "Nick and Jessica Variety Hour?"

-That the "Nick and Jessica Variety Hour" got good ratings

-That there is a "Nick and Jessica?"

We're doomed, people, we're doomed.