It's Mumia's fiftieth birthday today. Happy Birthday big guy. And as expected, it being his birthday means that it's a veritable Mumiapalooza here in the Mission. We got your protests, we got your rallies, we got your marches, and we got your Mumia Abu Jamaal Film Festival. How exciting!

I actually walked past part of Rally #1 today on my way to Safeway. Now, first of all, let me just say that if you're middle aged, have big breasts, and have never worn a bra in your life, for God's sake, please, put something on that'll hold those puppies up. For God's sake, think of the children.

Anyways, the rally was what you expected- twenty or so freaks handing out flyers and listening to various speakers yabber away on a bullhorn. Unfortunately, do to my tight schedule of errand running, I was not able to check out the march, the next rally, and the Film Festival.

All of which raises a question- who is the biggest loser:

-Somebody who spends all day and all weekend attending rallies and marches for everyone's favorite "political prisoner."

or

-Somebody who spent all day drinking beer and watching the NFL draft

And what the hell, how about somebody who spent all day checking the "Real World/Road Rules Inferno" message boards to catch up on what they missed out on.

I think we all know the correct answer isn't C. If I'm going to be a loser, I'm going to be a loser in private.

No, wait, I take that back. I did manage to shut the fuck up somebody on Craig's List whose been posting anti-semitic rantings for the past couple of days. That smell you're smelling is the smell of me burning his ass online. What can I say, I'm good…..