The office where I'm working is a small office above a bar somewhere in the financial district. Even though it's in a heavily trafficked area the door into the office building is unlocked. There's a little coffee nook as part of the building and my guess is that the door is unlocked because they figure that with someone in the coffee nook all day, the building's a lot safer than other buildings (because, of course, if somebody was going to rob the place during the day, they'd be all dressed up in robber outfits and thus easily spotted by the coffee worker). To get in, all you have to do is basically press a button by the side of the coffee nook and the door swings wide open.

Today I sneak out around 5:15 to go across the street to make a phone call (by the way, dear HR people- don't get snippy if somebody calls about a job already been filled. It's not my fault that you haven't taken down the posting in the two and a half weeks that the job's been filled). I cross the street and press the button and nothing. No door opening, nothing.

So I press the button a few more times, hoping that it'll finally open sesame. And yeah, like you'd do anything differently. Still nothing. Luckily, there's about four buttons on the side of the door, buzzers which I'm guessing buzzes the various receptionists in the building to let you in. I start buzzing those buzzers, feeling a bit like all those lame-asses who buzz my apartment because they either left their keys at home or are on a bootie call. Still nothing.

I keep on trying, buzzing each buzzer for a few quick jabs and then switching it up by going the longer buzz route. I try the buzzer that I'm pretty sure is to the office I'm working at and hold that for a lone time. Nothing. I try all the other offices. Nothing.

I am a Temp. I am a Temp with a higher level of responsibility than most Temps. I am a Temp who is working in an office they like at a job that they like and in a job that carries with it an outside chance of turning into a permanent gig and so wants to make a good impression. I am also a Temp who has been locked out of their office for over ten minutes and now has to call somebody to let them in.

I give up and trudge back across the street to head to the pay phone, swearing the whole time that as soon as I get a job, I'm finally joining the rest of the world and get a cell phone. As I walk across the street, I realize I don't have the company's phone number on me. I could call the Temp Agency, but it's not exactly something I want to admit to the Temp Agency that can make decisions about whether or not they want to send me on more assignments. I decide to call 411 when I get to the phone, but am relieved to find that the phone book is actually still by the payphone.

I find the number and dial. No answer. The receptionist has, of course, gone home. But wait. There's an office directory on the voice-mail system so if I can just punch in somebody's last name, I could reach somebody. Which would be great except I've only been there three days and don't know anybody's last name.

With no other option I realize I have to call the Temp Agency. Trying to summon up whatever shred of dignity I feel that I have left (ie, none), I tell them I'm locked out and can't reach anyone. The lady at the Temp Agency acts like it's not one of the craziest phone calls she's ever gotten and tells me to hold on. A couple of minutes later she comes back and tells me she reached somebody and that my supervisor is "laughing his head off."

Fifteen minutes after trying to get back into the office, the supervisor comes down and gets me, filling me in on all the hilarity that ensued after I disappeared. Turns out the receptionist is the one who locks the door when she leaves and she had to leave early today because she was preparing for a Seder (happy Pesach, everyone). Turns out too that they heard the buzzer ring but that nobody responds to the buzzer because after five, the entranceway is full of smokers from the bar who constantly buzz the buzzer by accident. Turns out too that they figured out it was me when the buzzer buzzed for like the fifth time and they realized that I had been gone for awhile. Naturally, the exact moment I went into the Embarcadero to make the call was the exact moment somebody came down to get me. And it turns out that they ran to get my initial phone call but just missed me before voice-mail kicked in.

Just my luck.

Oh, to add to the fun, I was so flummoxed by my misadventures that I accidentally got onto the wrong BART train and wound up in Oakland.

And sometimes I wonder why I drink so much….