Onto something I'm a little late too (it's been a really busy past couple of weeks), the Britney Spears/Austin Powers commercial. There's also a lot of rumors out there that Britney will be a special guest star during next season's Buffy, rumours that have been surrounding the show for the past couple of years.
It's one thing for Brit-Brit to be all over MTV and TRL. That's what MTV and TRL are all about- overkilling pre-fabricated corporate flavors of the month. But what's good about is that if you don't want to overdose on everyone's favorite dirty old man's wet dream, you don't have to watch TRL. Which is why they should stay should stay out there in TRL Land, away from all of us people out there who are perfectly okay with living in a non-Britney world. But she's so big now, or at least Britney Inc. has made her have the appearance of being so huge, that she's seeping into the rest of the world. That all of us Austin Powers fans have to deal with her shilling it up with the Shag-Man. And even though the rumors are being vigorously denied by the Buffy powers-that-be, the very idea of something so cool being infiltrated by something so, well, not cool (cool in the true sense of the world) is almost a sign of the Apocalypse.
As someone who would prefer to live in a Britney-free world, stop it, please. I don't want her in my world.
And then there's the whole Lance Bass in outer-space thing. Lance Bass is, of course, one of the guys in N'Sync. Nobody's quite sure exactly what he does in N'Sync except be the dopey one and look like he'd be the least likely to wind up rehab (not to mention the one whose been most rumored to be gay, or at least until all of the Justin stories started coming out). And what has N'Sync really done for the world other than milk allowance money from 15 year old girls before they discover bad boys, tattoos, and better music? Yet, they've been so successful at it that Lance might get the chance to buy his way into outer space.
Is that fair? Is that right?
Think of all of those who have been in outer space. All the heroic astronauts, test pilots and scientists. All those with the Right Stuff. Now Lance Bass will be one of them. He'll be able to go up to John Glenn and compare experiences. We, as the center of civilization, should not, nay cannot, allow this.
And if celebrities/civilians are suddenly capable of going into outer space, is it fair that Bass is the first? The test chimp of celebrities? Shouldn't someone cool do it first? Someone more worthy? Like Jack Nicholson. He deserves it. Michael Jordan? He deserves it too. Hell, if your going with musicians, how about Angus Young? He so much more deserves it than Lance. And just think how much fun it would be to send William Shatner out into space. Now that would rock.
More importantly, do we want celebrities to go into outer space? Do we want them to have it be just another perk of celebrity? Is this a line we want to cross? Will space shots be covered by the E! Channel now and covered by Mary Hart and Carson Daly? Will Puffy be hosting parties on the space station? Will Madonna go up into outer space just so she can go around claiming to be asinger/actress and astronaut? Will Brad buy Jen a trip on the Space Shuttle for her birthday? Will going into outer space be the next career move of every has-been bimbo actress, right before appearing in Playboy?
No siree. To paraphrase the mighty Jean-Luc Picard, the line must stop here. Stop us before we even have to live through the Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock space shot.
Get Me a Bucket
4 years ago