So today's my birthday. Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-duh-duh. Yippee.

I am not a big lover of birthday's. Nope, nott a big fan at all. It's not really the whole "one year older thing," although it does kind of suck that I can no longer consider myself as being in my early 30's but am now fully in my mid-30's, it's more like other things.

Like the whole "what should I do for my birthday thing?" Since it's your birthday, you're supposed to do something special for it. But what? All that figuring out what to do is stressful. Do you do a dinner? Throw a party? Go out for drinks? Who do you invite? When do you do it? And so on and so on. And isn't the point of a birthday to not do something that'll be stressful?

When I was younger, I was one of those people who believed that it shouldn't be up to me to figure out what to do on my birthday. The hope, of course, would be that people remember and do something for you. Unfortunately, it was one of those things that was better on theory than in practice. Lots of birthdays came and went without people remembering it.

So, I was faced with having to put things together myself, but I always hated the idea. Think it's kind of awkward, actually. Why I think it's that way, apart from modesty, is because of that damn Brady Bunch episode where Peter throws a party for himself. He makes a big deal out of it, invites the entire school, and then nobody shows up. That episode's left such an imprint on me that everytime I think about throwing something for myself, I'd just picture Peter's face as he came to the top of the staircase to look down upon his party- that sad pathetic look- and get scared. I do not want to be Peter Brady.

Then there's the fact that birthday's just complicate things. What if you remember somebody's birthday and they don't? Instant conflict and tension. Or vice versa. What happens when people say happy birthday to me, but I forget. Now I feel like an idiot. And yes, it happens more than I'd like to admit and it's something I always add to my list of New Year's Resolutions but never actually accomplish. Then, take that to the next level, the level where you're exchanging gifts or cards. Again, what happens when one gives a gift when another one forgets too. Or even forgets that it's your birthday. Once again, conflict and tension. I do not like conflict and tension. I am conflict and tension averse.

The main reason why I don't like birthdays , however, is this- that ever since you're little, everyone tells you that your birthday is a special day. It's your day. And because everyone always tells you that when you’re a kid, you always wake up on your birthday and think "doggoneit, it's my birthday, so it's gonna be a great day." And so you expect to wake up and walk into a Disney cartoon- full of rainbows, tweeting birds, and animals that come up to. But that's not what happens. Instead, a birthday is really just like any other day.

And that's why I always kind of hate birthdays. Because I still believe that when I wake up, rainbows will be rainbowing, the sun will be shining, and Mr. Bluebird will be on my shoulder. But it never is. It's just another plain, old day.

It's all just so, so, anti-climatic, like the Superbowl or a movie that's been hyped to the Bejesus. And, in some ways, it's always kind of a let down.

That's why my birthday means to me.

So today's my birthday. Yeah?