A couple of weeks ago, the Chron asked for their reader's input about what makes them cry. I would link it, but it wasn't very exciting and kind of dumb. In response, the "Dog Bites" column in the SF Weekly, a column which has kind of sucked since since Laurel Wellman left, actually ran a pretty funny column in which they listed things that they hear that makes them cry.

In spirit of that column, here is my List of Things That Upon Hearing, Make Me Cry"

"Starring Academy Award Winner Nicholas Cage."
"The Yankees today traded for….."
"Attorney General John Ashcroft."
"And now, here's George Will's commentary."
"Coming up after the break, Commissioner Bud Selig on the current state of baseball."
"Tonight's episode of Angel will not be shown so we may bring you a very special two-hour episode of 7th Heaven."
"On tonight's Behind the Music, the Shania Twain story."
"Catch a glimpse of the new Britney Spears Pepsi commercial, tonight on….."
"And now for a Boneyard block of Yes!"
"Free Mumia!"
as the phone's being handed to me.... "It's your mother….."
"You're one of the coolest, nicest guys I ever met, but….."
"Yesterday, Al Gore gave another speech indicating he might run for President in 2004."
"Tonight, a special NBC Dateline report that no parent should miss."
"The FBI today announced warnings of a possible terrorist threat…."
"…looks like they're gonna intentionally walk Barry Bonds."