So yesterday I mentioned I loved Reign of Fire. Watching it made me wonder what exactly would happen if the movie became reality. What would happen if say somebody stumbled upon a dragon buried deep and unwittingly unleashes Dragon Apocolypse. Would they kick our butts or would we kick theirs?

Here's what would happen:

-The Left will, at first, try and declare the dragons as an Endangered Species and then protest the killing of them. The Peaceniks will declare that they wouldn't be setting fire to the world if it wasn't for us attacking them, the Environmentalists would worry about the ecological ramifications of wiping out an entire species, and the Animal Rights activists and P.E.T.A will protest the killing of poor, defenseless, fire-breathing dragons. Everyone will agree, however, that defending ourselves against the dragons is really just an excuse for Big Oil to use the Dragon Lairs as a place to drill for oil. In speeches, they'll all say that it's really our fault anyways for being such a patriarchal, consumerist, hierarchical system. There will be teach-in's in Berkeley discussing how the dragon attacks will affect Mumia.

-The Right will immediately call for blowing them all up, so what if they wind up blowing up more people than the dragons do. They will also call for a Missle Defense system to defend against the dragons and select major Republican campaign donors, as well as Halliburton, to build it. President Bush will declare the dragons "evil-doers" and then declare war on Iraq. Meanwhile, Vice-President Cheney goes in seclusion once again- fueling rumors that he's been either eaten or had a heart attack- when he's secretly in a bunker somewhere in the West trying to get Haliburton the contracts for digging oil in the dragon lairs. John Ashcroft freaks out that the Apocalypse is actually happening and is caught having a three-way in a Nevada brothel. Bill O'Reilly, Anne Coulter and William Bennett will appear on every news show shouting that the dragon attacks are all the fault of the liberal elites and tree-hugging hippies. That and Bill Clinton.

-Jerry Falwell will say it's all wrath of God type stuff for being tolerant to gay people

-France will blame America and quickly surrender.

-The Palestinians will blame Israel

-Israel will blame the Palestinians

-Baseball will go on strike

-The 24-hour news channels will intermittently interrupt broadcasts of stories involving rich, kidnapped white girls for live footage of burning cities. Geraldo Rivera will become the first big-time reporter to be killed when he's incinerated trying to bust into a Dragon's Lair. Fox News' ratings will sky-rocket when they intentionally use their studio as bait and show live broadcasts of the studio burning down. In response, CNN will add more graphics to their broadcasts. Larry King will interview Liza Minnelli.

-Entertainment Tonight will feature stories about how the stars are dealing with the dragon attacks plus the latest on who J-Lo is dating.

- Ross & Rachel will finally get married, but right before the big episode will be filmed. David Schwimmer will be viciously mauled.