Okay, so you know that whole thing about not thinking the whole starting another new job thing wasn't that big of a deal? Well, as I was lying awake last night around 1 in the morning, it suddenly occured to me that I'm wrong. It is a big deal.

The place that I quit to get this job may have sucked, but I was comfortable there. And all things considering, it's been awhile since I've felt comfortable anywhere. I had proven myself, shown myself to be a great employee. I knew all the ropes and all the people I needed too or cared to know. I had friends there, routines there, and a comfort level there. I even had a huge office infatuation there. I was so comfortable there and with my position there that I was routinely going into work wearing nothing but a t-shirt jeans and three-day stubble. I was so comfortable there that I had stopped bothering hiding the fact that I was reading Salon and ESPN.com all day. After months of being the new guy, I was finally able to be myself.

And now, that's all gone.

Once again, I'm the new guy. I don't know anyone or anything. I have to make the first impression all over again. I don't know where the tea bags are or the copy machine or where certain people sit. I once again have to prove myself. I once again have to keep my personality in check, once again have to be the guy who asks questions all day, once again I have to hide the fact I occasionally check ESPN.com (for the Giants scores, of course) and spend a lot of time on Hotmail. I dress up for work, I shave as much as I can, I have no office infatuation.

And all things considering, I'm tired of being the new guy.