So my birthday's coming up in a couple of weeks and I'm already filled with dread over it. Have been for weeks. I'm not particularly freaked out because according to my driver's license I'll be 35 (if anyone asks, I'm actually 27), it's just that I always hate the having to figure out what to do part of it all.

Should I go out to dinner with friends? Should I go out for drinks? And if so, with who and where? Since it's on a Tuesday, should I celebrate it over the weekend or turn it into a four-day Celebration of Me? Should I take the day off or the day afterwards in preparation for a Black Hole hangover? Or should I not do a damn thing and just not deal with it?

Ideally, I'd like to crawl myself into a bottle for a few days and stay there, but sadly there's less and less people around who can crawl into the bottle with me, or more like they can crawl into it just as long as they get back in enough time to relieve the baby-sitter. I actually have the option of doing something that night, something completely non-Birthday-y and I'm having trouble pulling the trigger because something might come up. On the other hand, pulling the trigger on it would ensure that I actually have something to do that night other than watching "Buffy" reruns.

I know I should do something because, damnit, it's my birthday and you're supposed to do something on your birthday (that's what the rules are), but I really don't have the time or energy to deal with it right now. I always do this too- dither about what to do and then get pissed when I find myself not having anything to do.

The only good thing I have to say about my birthday coming up is that my new job isn't the birthday cake, everyone gather around and sing "Happy Birthday" type of place (more like the let's go out and do tequilla shots kind of place, but that's another story). At least I got that going for me.

But you know, when I think about it, one thought does come back to me more and more- 35 years old. 35! How the hell did that happen?