LeBron, LeBron, LeBron- am I the only who isn't already completely sick of LeBron? Dude hasn't done anything against anybody other than a bunch of pimply-faced white boys in High School and he's already entered First Name status. Hell, he's already making more money than I will ever see in my lifetime, and if reincarnation is true, he's making more than I will in all of my lifetimes. And yet he hasn't done a damn thing yet. Oh, he's had one (one!) good game, but he's already being treated as if he's won several Championships, multiple MVP's, sold several million CD's of his inevitable rap album, and won the Novel Peace Prize for solving the Middle East Crisis. In his way, he symbolizes everything wrong with our culture, the triumph of hype over substance, flash over truth, the shoe commercials versus actual accomplishment (as a side note, how long until the inevitable rape charge/drug arrest/illegal gun citation/torn ACL?).

I probably wouldn't be as annoyed if it weren't for the fact that- and yes, this is a big thing to admit for a sports loving guy like me- I do not like basketball. Not that I don't occasionally watch a big playoff game, follow the goings on in the NBA, or keep up on the daily miseries of the Warriors, I just don't particularly care that much. In fact, I really don't get it- the hype, the appeal, the endless speculation on about it on sports shows. In a way, it's not really even a sport anymore, it's more entertainment than sport. It's a soap opera, shoe commercial, and an episode of MTV Cribs all wrapped in one.

The main reason I don't like it is the whole "all you need to watch is the last two minutes of a game" thing. It's true. Who really remembers what happens during the first quarter? Or second or third quarter? Or hell, much of the fourth quarter? "Oh look, somebody made a jump shot and scored! That's only one score out of 40-50!" None of it really matters, it's all just a huge setup for the last couple of minutes. Maybe it's because I just don't get it, but where's all the stuff that makes sports interesting- the strategies and the subplots, the in's and out's and the backdrops, the chess match part of it? As far as I can tell, the main thing a NBA coach does is decide whom guards whom, who gets the ball when, and how many days a player should be suspended after his drug bust. And don't even get me started on the regular season, 80 meaningless games to set up a playoff season which basically just eliminates all the teams too crappy to be deserving anything.

Yeah, okay, the sport in it's purest form can be kind of fun to watch and kind of fun to play. And yeah, the basketball stars can do some amazing things, but who couldn't if you were 6'7"? Most basketball players are as much genetic freaks as athletes, or do you really think a 7'2" 330 pound player is a naturally occuring thing? And yeah, the NBA has the best plot-lines going (can Shaq & Kobe get along? Can KG finally make it to the 2nd round? Who on the Blazers won't get busted this season?) but it's mainly all about the individual. It's not about the team or the sport, it's all, as I said, a soap-opera.

In fact, just as the popularity of football is due as much to office pools, I think part of the popularity of basketball has nothing whatsoever to do with the actual sport. Watch enough sports shows, read enough sports columns, and watch enough playground basketball played and you start to get a feeling that the reason the NBA is so popular is because it lets doughy white Frat boys do their best to get down with the homies. They high-five each other, they say names like "Carmelo" and "Antwan" and "T-Mac" as if it's something they run into a lot, and they get to say things like "baller" or "dishing it" without sounding like a complete idiot. It let's them, for a brief second, pretend that they're really fishnizzle in the nizzle. For proof, just check out any anchor on ESPN or Jim Rome. Even the Sports Guy on ESPN.com.

All I can say is this: four more months 'til pitchers and catchers report.