Okay, I admit it. I'm going to vote for Arnie today. I know, I know, it's shocking, but the choice is pretty obvious if you think about it. Only Arnie has the leadership to lead the Golden State out of it's mess.

Here's why I think he'll make the bestest Governor in the world:

1) He thinks the future lies with our children and that education should be our most important priority. What other politician has the guts to make such a bold statement?

2) He promises to keep our taxes low, not cut any services, and do it all by getting rid of all of the state's fraud and waste! Who knew running a budget was that easy?

3) I just can't get enough of references to his movies. God, that never gets old.

4) He's rich so he doesn't need money from all those special interests. Well, except for all the big corporations that gave him tons of money at all those fund raisers, but at least it's not money from those damn injuns.

5) He's clearly knowledgeable about the inner workings of the state, which was made pretty obvious by his appearance on "Oprah" and "Larry King Live!" And it was a pretty bold move of him not to take viewer calls on "Larry King Live!" because, gosh, you know, Larry asks such tough questions that the viewers could never compete.

Oh forget it. I can't do it anymore. It's just not funny. I wanted to avoid a big, huge rant about today's election, but it's looking like rant-time. How can it not be? Is there any way this state can do something more idiotic, more embarrassing, more dumber than voting in somebody whose main claim to fame is having huge muscles and starring in action flicks? It's like somehow the worlds of politics and entertainment have become so intertwined now that it's all one in the same. I've even seen ads in the paper for the DVD's of the previous Terminator flicks that make reference to Arnie's running for Governor. Hell, Arnie's done more interviews with "Access Hollywood" than he has with the real press. Is this really a tribute to the "Democratic Process?" Will it come to the point where the White House will be just another big-budget action figure and every four years we'll have to vote between Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Cameron Diaz, and George W. to see who want to star in the role of President? Isn't that pretty much what we do anyways?

I mean, how many people who signed the recall petition actually voted in the previous election? Do people get that his so-called leadership abilities that people mention so frequently come because he's an actor who stars in action movies? And that saying pat phrases forcefully is not really the sign of a leader?

Dear God, people, haven't you figured out the irony that somebody who people like because he's not a politician is running an election by sounding like a parody of a politician? That all he's doing is saying stuff like "education is really important" or "we must eliminate waste and fraud" which is what every dumb-ass politician says when they have nothing to say? And that his "I love Cal-eee-fornia" routine is nothing but "San Dimas High Rules!"

And do all those people who are suddenly interested in the election really know what's behind all of the problems in the state? Do they even realize that ever since Prop 13, we haven't been able to take in enough money to run the services that we used to run? That the jewel of the state, the state school system, has never recovered since then? Do they realize that those stupid ballot initiatives do nothing but spend money we don't have and lock the legislature into spending rules that they can't get out of? And do people even realize that the last time we threw this kind of temper tantrum we voted in term limits and the result is an ineffective legislature run by amateur politicians who don't know what they're doing and special interests who do?

This whole thing is like, well, like Limp Bizkit. See, people who are into them are all those bored, angry white kids who don't quite understand why they're so bored and angry. They think society sucks, have a feeling that it does, yet can't put down their Playstation long enough to figure out just what it is about society that sucks. So, instead of say, reading the papers and understanding why things are going wrong and ways to fix it, they just crank up the tunes, bang their head, and want to "Break Stuff." That's what this recall is, the political equivalent of Woodstock III. Just a bunch of dumb-ass kids angry at things they're too lazy and stupid to understand so go smash everything in sight. And once everything's smashed, they feel better, feel like they've made their statement, yet don’t realize that they've just fucked it all up for the rest of us. Not to mention not done a single thing to help solve anything.

Please, please, please don't let Arnie be Governor. Think California, think.