As much as a political junkie as I can be and as passionate as I am about this election, I'm going to try my best to stay far away from any sort of news type thing with the RNC going on. Even the masochistic part of me, the part that likes to watch Fox News just to see how long it takes before I start throwing something, wants to avoid the damn thing. Not that I don't kind of want to watch it, it'll just upset all of my attempts to be all serenity now-like. I even just peeked- peeked- at Fox News this evening and just hearing Sean Hannity tell Sen. Trent Lott that he's being treated like a rock star at the RNC makes me want to projectile vomit. What, praytell, kind of twisted universe is it in which Trent Lott is seen as someone to cheer?

Oh, I'll watch news-related things this week just as long as it involves Jon Stewart. And sites like Gawker and Atrios are extremely invaluable right now, but I'm trying to go cold turkey off the NY Times. Nope, the only way I'd watch any of this thing, even pay the slightest attention to the convention is if something bad would happen, and when I mean "bad" I mean "something horrifyingly disastrous befalling the Republican Party". Like if John McCain would finally snap out of the "Manchurian Candidate" mode he's been in lately and tell the entire convention just what he thinks of President Smirkboy. Or if in the middle of Dick Cheney's speech he turns into a snake-like demon and in order to reach "Ascension" eats all of the convention goers. Sadly, I don't think either will happen.

The worst part of this whole convention is that there's real stuff going on in this world and we'll never hear about it this week. Like how can we even think about listening to Bush blab away when Lindsey Lohan and Tara Reid are having some huge cat-fight to get Paris Hilton's attention. . Come on, folks. Let's get real here.