I was at yoga class this morning (and yes, there were other people there) when the teacher asked everyone to partner-up for the next set of poses. Nobody wanted to partner with me. There I was, in yoga class, walking around looking for somebody who'd hold my pose for me. I swear in the back of my head, I could hear "Stairway to Heaven" playing in the background and see couples huddled together in the dark corner of the yoga studio making out. Isn't the asking of people to look for partners the opposite of yoga philosophy? Isn't the whole point of yoga that it's not like High School gym class?

Speaking of yoga, I started wondering what would happen if someone who was running for President was into yoga. Not to sound like some total New Age, Californian, but I do think that yoga is a really good thing. It keeps you in shape, makes you more flexible, and more importantly, keeps you centered and grounded. Being centered and grounded could be considered a good trait to have in a President because there's less of a chance to do screwy. Like, say invading some country that had nothing to do with a recent attack just because you're all pissed off and want to go kick some ass. Unfortunately, just think what would happen if a candidate actually owned up to doing yoga? And what would happen if photos got out of said candidate in yoga clothes doing, say, Warrior Pose. I guess the reason for thinking all this is because fact that John Kerry likes to wind-surf is considered a problem because wind-surfing is seen as an "elitist" sport (unlike, say, golf. And nevermind that most people under 40 think windsurfing is like a totally bitching sport. And nevermind too that most Americans probably don't even think about it as such but the press does so after the press says "John Kerry is showing he's an elitist by wind-surfing a hundred billion times, the American people start thinking that only because it's been drummed into their heads. And nevermind the fact that so frickin' what the he likes to windsurf? Don't these people who talk about such things have anything else to talk about? Like, umm, a war?).

So just imagine if it comes out that John Kerry likes to do yoga. And not only that, photos of him come out with him in poses. Just think of the brouhaha. Think of the ads that come out accusing him of being some New Age hippie. Or the one that shows him doing poses and says "Just as John Kerry is flexible doing yoga, John Kerry is flexible on his stand on Iraq." Or just imagine how unsubtle Dick Cheney would be, playing the pussy-card even harder because John Kerry doesn't play sports, eat meat, and have multiple heart bypass surgeries like most red-blooded Jesus-loving Americans.

I'm also thinking that other than Dennis Kucinich, there's probably one more politicians out there who do yoga. It is pretty trendy these days and, hell, there's probably some Yoga Lobby group out there willing to pay for their Yoga classes. But all things considering, I'm sure they'd want to keep it hidden. Which is why I wouldn't be surprised if there's like some sort of secret Yoga class in the Senate Chambers that nobody knows about. Or maybe some congressman go to Bikram classes, but only in disguise. Or maybe they've even paid off some yoga class in Dupont Circle or something where it closes down early so that the entire Congressional Delegation from Oklahoma could do some classes (like the Congressional Delegation from Oklahoma would do yoga. Or at least, not unless it was a Church-sponsored event).