Back…back…back…..

Got laid off from the temp job last week.

Laid off. From a temp job. Does it get any worse than that?

I'm not sure what happened, I'm not sure what the reason was, what the what was, but all I know is I'm back to the wonderful world of unemployment. Total Lucy and the football. Actually, it was even worse than that. It was more total Ned Beatty bending over and squealing like a pig.

Somehow knew it would happen too. It was just all too easy. Just too darn easy. Because nothing in life is that easy. The moment you sit back, put your feet up on the table, and light up a stogie is usually the exact moment that it's all gonna come crashing down.

And that's what happened to me.

I was so close, so there. I was Steve McQueen, on a motorcycle, just the fence standing in the way between captivity and freedom. That's how close I was.

It all went down on Tuesday. Last Tuesday, the day I was supposedly gonna stop being yo-yo'ed around and actually taught how to do my job. The boss was no longer off-site, the person I was taking over for was back from vacation, and all the forms were finally getting dealt with.

How close was I? I spent all morning training, met my staff, played phone tag with the Photo ID guy, and even heard Arlene write on all my forms that I'll be there til Oct. 31st. All that just in the morning. I was so there.

Which is when it all fell apart.

Went to make a quick run to the Temp Agency to pick up some time sheets (because PG&E used different time sheets, I had actually thrown away all of my Act-1 time sheets- stupid me). Just as I was leaving, they told me. Told me my assignment was over.

And just like that, a six month assignment had turned into a week long assignment.

This is what life as a Temp is like. First off, I lucked out to find out when I did. Usually they call the person that night. I found out just because I was at the right place at the right time. A friend of mine, her husband had the same thing happen to him, but because he got the phone call at night, it was too late for him to pick up his personal items, stuff like Palm Pilot and other semi-important things. Second of all, the Temp Agency just told me straight out and was surprised I was kind of shocked when they told me. Then, when I told Janice, the Outsourced Outsourcer that I thought the whole thing was "fucked" she was taken-aback and surprised. Why would anybody think I'd be kind of slightly pissed off that a six-month assignment only lasted a week?

The nerve of me for actually thinking it was a big deal. It's not like a blew off a possible interview, sent a huge check to my credit card companies, or turned down a few temp assignments during that time. No, didn't fuck up my life a bit. All Janice could do was to give me the "them's the temping brakes" speech and help me not have to deal with having my soon-to-be ex bosses sign my time-sheets.

The whole thing was just fucked. Plain, straight, fucked. You know how sometimes you get fucked, but it's all so quick and painless that it's not that big of a deal? This one wasn't like that at all. It was a slow uncomfortable screw against the wall.

What happened? I don't know. The Temp Agnecy said they decided to hire someone with more HR experience. Janice told me they were too busy to retrain somebody and so decided to do it themselves. Either way is just as equally depressing.

They could have decided to hire someone with more HR experience. I had been lucky to get what I got, after all. Really lucky. I had heard that they interviewed about five or six Temps before deciding on one, but when he disappeared, they called the agency in a panic. Enter me. No interview, no nothing. Just right guy at the right time. I always thought I had gotten too lucky. Had that little voice warning me about it. The only time I had met the boss, after all, was for a "getting to know you" type thing which, at the time, seemed suspiciously like more of a job interview than a "getting to know you type thing". Guess I didn't do that well in the interview.

But what the fuck did they mean by wanting someone with more HR experience? I was supposed to be a Senior Administrative Assistant fer crisssakes, not Senior VP of the HR Department. And how hard could HR be? The only thing I knew about people in HR is that they fill out a lot of forms, never return phone calls and gossip all the time. I could do that. I'm pretty good at that. And besides, it's not like they gave me a shot. I had worked an actual total of about two hours on my actual job, the one they had hired me for. All I had done before was filing and photocopying, something I did a pretty damn good job at, if you ask me.

Then there's the second possibility, that they were just too busy to train me. Which meant that I got caught in a total Catch-22. The catch being, of course, that I get a job because someone else bailed and so the company panicked, stressed out and brought me in at the last second to replace someone. But then they panicked and stressed out so much because of the guy leaving, they didn't have time to train me. So I get laid off. Thanks for coming.

And of course, there's a couple ironies to the whole thing. Because there's always ironies to things.

The reality was that I was a little unsure about the whole six-month commitment thing. I had, after all, seen how much trouble was created when the first person quit, so what would happen if I quit? They'd have to do it all over again. And here they were, giving me a really good, high-paying temp job. The thought of bailing on them because I was bored or wanted to take a vacation or got another job was starting to give me a guilty conscious. And while I was worrying about that, they just let me go, just like that. Stupid me for feeling like I was willing to commit to them.

The other irony is that I had a feeling that day. One of those something's quite not right feelings. It was the way Maggie rushed through training me. And the off-the-cuff remark she made about not knowing how much she needed to train me because I wasn't going to get all the tasks I was supposed to have. And then there was this, that my phone line was also connected to my bosses. Whenever his phone rang, my phone rang too. Once, by accident, I picked up his phone and noticed on the caller ID that he was talking to Janice. Hmm, I thought, I wonder what's up with that? And of course, there was that little voice telling me that it was all too easy and that I had gotten way too lucky. Things like that just don't fall into my lap. Never, ever, ever.

So now what? Saw Spiderman this week and spent Thursday muching on magic brownies. And two weeks til "Star Wars" comes out and I'm starting to get psyched. Plus the World Cup is starting at the end of the month and I've already talked a just-laid off friend to meet me there for pints.

All I can say is that I hope that whatever happens, fuck PG&E. I hope they get put through the ringer. The last election where there was a big referendum to get rid of them and put in public power instead? All for it now. Chapter 11 proceedings? Sick 'em. Stories about plant workers intentionally sabotaging the system? Go reporters go. And like I'm gonna be paying my bills on time.

Fuckers.