Somewhere there is a line. It is a very thin line, but still a line between fan-dom and geek-dom. It is a line I don't ever want to cross and something I have always been proud about never crossing.

Until last Friday I crossed that line. I went straight into darkness, out over the line.

Last Friday, I went to go see an actress at one of those stupid-ass meet and greet appearances at the Metreon. It was an actress who was on Buffy. I even waited in line to get her autograph and shake her hand. Even worse, I brought something. But wait, it gets worse….. I went with two people I had never met, but hooked up with over the Buffy boards.

I am now a pathetic geek.

Of course, the move makes a bit more sense if you knew any of your Buffy. The actress I went to go see Eliza Dushku, aka Faith, the bad-girl gone bad Slayer. All push-up bra, bad-ass attitude, too many cigarettes voice, and ruby-red lips. She was a recurring cast figure in S3, the Moby Dick of Buffy seasons, and appeared in probably the greatest ten minutes of tv. Ever. That being the season ending cat-fight between Buffy and Faith- ten minutes of fight to the death kung-fu action, leather pants, and handcuffs. Not to mention a kiss.

In my life, I've flirted with the Star Trek and the Dead, but never went all the way. Which is probably good because God only knows what would have happened. I could be fluent in Klingon. I could have five brain cells left and have the first five chords of "Sugar Magnolia" cause a pavlovian reaction to light some patchouli. But I never went that far. Cause I don't like to go that far. I'm not a go that far kind of guy. It's the same reason I don't like to join anything, because all of a sudden, you're in something. I don't like being in something. I like to be on the sidelines, watching and observing, above it all,. Of course, also desperately wanting to be on in the inside, but maybe finding it way too easy to make fun of them. Or something like that.

Besides, just from seeing people who were really, really into these things, I knew what it was like. I knew that the infamous skit from SNL with William Shatner was pretty much dead on (the one where Shatner finally explodes at all the Trekkies asking if anyone of them had ever kissed a girl after being asked about what combination he used to unlock a lock in a scene). I knew too how obsessed people can be really, really boring. Because three hour long conversations about people's favorite China Cat/I Know You Rider is really, really not that exciting.

Once, a friend and I went to a Star Trek thing. It was a book signing for Nichelle Nicholas (Lt. Uhuru- duh). We went partly because we were both kind of into Trek but also out of curiousity. We wanted to see how bad it could be. So we went and found ourselves waiting in line for half-an-hour while Trekkies plunked down the thirty bucks to buy her autobiography and have her sign it. Most of the people, including the three people behind us, looked like this had been the first time they've stepped outside in years. While in the section about the Yugoslavian Civil War, I made a joke (don't ask, you had to be there and yes, I'm ashamed for making a joke about such a tragic event). The three next to us had obviously heard and in an effort to bond, Trek-style,one of them actually said "yeah, that's just like the episode where Kirk....." And with that, my friend and I looked at each other and quickly got the hell out of there.

My original plan was just to go by the Metreon and check it out. See the scene, check her out, check out what other pathetic losers would go see her, and then get out quickly so as to not be seen as one of those pathetic losers. You know, stay above it all. I even entertained dreams of going there for a few minutes, then hopping over to the Y. Doing something productive. Something good.

Didn't happen. What did happen was that I saw that a couple of other people were planning on meeting before checking out Faith, er Eliza, and found myself in conflict. See, as much as I have an incredible desire to stay above things, I also have a incredible desire not to be left out of anything. With the two sides now in conflict, the battle was waged, the war was fought, and the desire not to be left out of anything won. So I sent someone an e-mail, got the 411, and made plans to meet a couple of people at the Starbucks across the street from the Metreon. What the hell? Could be fun, could be interesting and it's not like I have anything else to do these days. Besides, the reality is my life couldn't get more pathetic at this particular moment anyways.

And so I went. And you know what? It was kind of fun. It helps that the two people I met were cool. One of them was a Swedish, 43 year old engineer who used to do Rubik's Cube competitions and was at one time the 4th fastest Rubik's Cuber in Sweden (did it in fifteen seconds, which makes me wonder what he was doing wrong to only keep him in 4th). The other was an adorable 19 year old Chinese lesbian who I felt really sorry for because by that time, I knew pretty well that her favorite character and tv girlfriend, Tara, was not much longer for the Buffy Universe (turns out she knew, but was in denial). And yeah, I waited in line for over an hour and a half and I went up there, with the other two Buffy geeks and met the mighty Faith, er Eliza. I introduced myself, shook her hand (OH MY GAWD!), and then got my mint condition issue of Entertainment Weekly's: Viewers Guide To Buffy signed. The other two took a bunch of photos and just like that we were done.

Afterwards, the three of us walked back to Starbucks and hung out for an hour or so. And yes, we talked some Buffy. And some other things too.

Straight over the line…..