When it comes down to it, the main reason I don't like dance music is because, well, it sucks. Actually, it's more than that. As the old adage goes, people will dance to anything if they put a good beat to it. People can be stupid that way. Most dance music that I hear is nothing but a huge, repetitive beat played over and over again until it stays stuck in your head like a head cold.

For proof, I give you this: I was at the corner store over the weekend. It's the same corner store where the people who work there pretend to be Hispanic yet are really Arab-American (I heard the guy on the phone today speaking Arabic). Anyways, as I was at the counter, I heard coming from the radio a song I knew pretty well, but couldn't place it. Occasionally, when not playing salsa music, the store plays the San Francisco dance music station- the Party or what have you. Somehow, over the tss-tikca-tss-ticka of the beat, the whailing female voice rang a bell. Somewhere from the deep recess of my brain- the recesses where I put things I don't want to ever think about again- I knew I had heard the song before. And then it hit me. I knew what it was. Somebody actually made with a dance remake of Journey's "Whose Crying Now."

Dear God.

Journey! A Journey song, fer crissakes! Does anyone out there think that that's a good idea? Is somebody out there tapping their toes at the moment and thinking that this song makes them want to do shake their booty? And if so, how burnt out on E are they? Are people stoked when the song gets played at a club? Am I the only one who remembers just how God-awful that song was?

Let's put it another way- a dance version of "Whose Crying Now?" Not danceable. The Humpty Dance. Now, that's danceable.