Editor's Note- this was written way before talking to friends who've actually seen it and confirmed all my worst fears.

For my birthday tomorrow, I'm going to see the play "Wicked." Yes, I'm going to the theater, to see a musical no less. And yes, I realize that for the most part I hate musicals, or at least one's that don't involve Vampire Slayers, love songs between Satan and his gay lover Saddam, or singing nun's who rescue talented families from the Nazi's.

Thing is I love the book. It's in my Top 10 list of favorite books. In fact, it might have been the best book I've read in five or six years. It's that good.

The book is basically a retelling of "The Wizard of Oz," written from the vantage point of the Wicked Witch of the West. And yes, you guessed it, she's not that Wicked, merely misunderstood. The reason why I love the book is because of the character, all angsty misery and doomed destiny. She's Angela Chase from "My So Called Life" except without any chance of getting Jordan Catalano mainly because she's born freakishly green. She's Enid from "Ghost World" except without the sense of humour and without the artistic talent that will wind up saving Enid. She's S6 Buffy and Willow- out of sorts with the world, manic-depressant, making bad choices out of misery, and wanting to take their pain out in the world. She's the most interesting, coolest, anti-heroic heroine in any book that I've read, so much so I want to get a cat mainly so I can name it after the main character, Elphaba.

And they're turning it into a musical.

I'm scared.

When I read the book, I thought to myself, "wow, this would make a brilliant movie, except it would probably be done all Hollywood-like and ruined because it'll star Julia Roberts or Reese Weatherspoon who'll play the main character and they'll have them be ugly and freakish by the putting glasses on her all the while looking like Julia Roberts and Reese Weatherspoon." But not a musical. God, not a musical. Among other things, Elphaba would hate musicals. She'd totally be into Ani diFranco or Pearl Jam, not Rogers & Hammerstein. And the best part of the book- the great sense of alienation and despair that seeps through every page- couldn't be done in a musical format. No way, no how (well, actually the book is rather "The Wall-ish," which is why I liked it, but I don't think Broadway would be up for a musical with lots of drugs, psychosis, and worms). One review that I read even mentioned that poor Elphaba was stuck with all the Disney-style ballads, like the kind Satan sang in South Park except not meant as a joke.

Dear God, my poor Elphie. How could you do this to my Elphie?

We'll see. Maybe it won't be so bad. Plus, if I drink enough wine…….