Ahhhh, a massage. I am all about massages.

It's not just that it's the first time in a long time I can move without feeling my achy back, it's not just that I had about a year and a half worth of stress wringed out of my body, it's just that, yes, my flow is all balanced and my chi is unblocked and I feel so very centered. And yes, I do believe in all that Easter medicine crap, although I'd never really admit it out loud.

If there were some way to get a massage once a week, I'd do it. Hell, I think it would be perfect to figure out some way of getting a constant massage. It wouldn't just be to help my back, but damn, just to feel all toasty and happy all the time. And not that I'm one of those people who are like "if we all did yoga, there'd be world peace," but maybe there is something to that with massages. Think what would happen if Georgy Boy got massages. Not that he's never gotten one, because he probably has, either by Pino at the country club or by Muffy or Buffy back in his drinking partying days, but nothing like I did- all eastern like with New Age music and talking about rebalancing my imbalance. Maybe if he did, he'd be less cranky and less giddy at the thought of breakin' stuff.

This massage was a long one too- an hour and a half. It was so long, the masseuse ran out of things to do and went back and redid my legs, which was fine by me. She even had enough time to massage my ears so now I probably have the most relaxed set of earlobes in the San Francisco.

As for the massage itself, it wasn't my favorite style- I consider myself a shiatsu man. And yes, I do know what the difference is between various types of massages. The masseuse did do some deep tissuey type stuff, but she mainly did the kind of massage that's like giving big, huge Indian burns up and down the body, except with lots of oil so it didn't hurt as much as it used to back when you were a kid and the big kid on the block would do it to you for shits and giggles. It was much better, though, than the lady I usually get whose into pressure points and basically just puts her fingers on certain parts of the body, leaves them there, and then grimaces to make it look like she's doing something. Not that type of method doesn't work, but as she's grimacing away, like she's playing massage air guitar, I keep on wanting to say "hey, on the clock here."

Who does it can be pretty important. I have a friend who just got out of massage school and would probably have done it for free, but I've known him since Elementary School and, well, that'd just be a bit too weird. Also, I kind of like women to do it because, well, I'm a guy and, well, you know. Which leads to which woman you'd like to do you. Ummm, I mean massage you. One of the masseuses there I actually kind of knew because way back when I used to take her yoga classes and we kind of got to talking. Besides the fact that meant she knew me and thus the whole seeing me nude thing is now a little weird, I'd have that guilt thing going because I always went to her class but dropped out due to various reasons. I always feel bad when I do something like that (think Jerry and Babu). Then there was the young, looks 24 year old, who I could have signed up for but didn't because she was way too cute. I don't get massages for happy endings, but if she would have been my masseuse, I might have started thinking that way.

Either way, I feel goood.

PS- I wonder if masseuse's ever get sick of listening to New Age music all day? They work like four hour shifts and it's the same CD over and over and over again. The music is kind of nice and relaxing, but there's only so much of it you can take. I wonder if, when it's all done, they go out and like put on some AC/DC or Snoop Dog just to cleanse themselves of all the whale sounds and Native American flute blowing.