This is my life-

I have no internet access at work anymore. I need internet access. Important stuff might be happening while I'm sitting around not checking e-mail. You scoff, but today I almost missed out on a huge trade for my Fantasy Football League. So all week, at lunch time, I schlep fifteen minutes or so through the heart of North Beach, plop down my two bucks, and get ten minutes of internet access at the "Ben & Jerry's Internet Cafe." I feel like a junkie plopping down cash for another hit. A smack-head in a methodone clinic getting his fix.

And for ten minutes, I sit there, trying to do all the stuff I need to do in the alloted time that I have. Have you ever been to an internet cafe? For some reason, they're all intentionally slow. You're under the gun, yet it takes forever for things to happen. You send out an e-mail and hope that somehow it'll get sent out just under the ten minutes. Sometimes you make it, sometimes you don't.

This sucks.