Okay, few more things before I pass out from the half-bottle of wine I drank....

News items!

First, it was the Webbies the other night. You know, the awards for best Web sites and all that stuff. So '99. Does anyone even care anymore?

And then there's this beauty, which I'm sure you've all seen. As much as I love the NRA, the one group that I love more than any other has to be PETA. Because when thousands of people have been killed in Afghanistan, AIDS is ravaging Africa, and the whole world is teetering on the brink of WW III, it's obvious that the most pressing issue that faces all of us is the depiction of cows in tv commercials. Because the fact that they're depicted to look happy in commercials is sooooo wrong.

It's one of those things where you wonder what they were thinking when they announced they were going to sue. I mean, there had to be more than one or two people in the meeting and some of them seem pretty bright. How is it that nobody in the meeting went "uh, you know, that's a really stupid thing we should be worrying about." Or "hello, it's a commercial? It doesn't mean anything?" Or maybe even "you know, this is really silly. maybe we should, like, get a life?" They even managed to drag a lawyer into it, but, of course, lawyer's would have a threesome with Ron Jeremy and Janet Reno if they thought it'd get them somewhere in life.

Someday, when I'm rich, I want to parade in front of the PETA headquarters wearing leather pants and a fur coat.