Oh man, my beloved alma mater, UCSB got featured on Dateline tonight. Let's just say there's nothing quite as difficult to watch as your alma mater getting the Dateline treatment. Over the usual smugly self-righteous narration (is there anyone more unctuous than Stone Phillips?), they showed pictures of people partying in Isla Vista on your typical weekend night. Or, since we are talking about UCSB, possibly your average Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday night too. Oh, the horror of seeing all the slander and titillation thrown at what you know is merely the greatest square mile on the face of the earth.

Turns out there's this new thing out there called "College Porn" in which porn stars show up at some kegger, get everyone drunk, then film people doing things with the porn star. This, is of course, shocking behavior, and another sign of the corruption of the Youth of Today, a fact subtly hammered home by the showing of a drunk Gaucho screaming "we are the future leaders of America!" while at a keg party. And I have to admit I too am shocked, as much as the lameness of the idgits who agreed to do the porn as the fact there was never those kind of parties when I was there. Or at least any that I was aware of.

It was pretty cold too when the reporter asked the porn star responsible for it why she'd do it at schools like SB but never at those schools that are the bastion of academic quality- Harvard and Yale. Hey, Harvard and Yale may be Ivy League schools, but are they surrounded on three sides by the Pacific Ocean? Do they have a surfing team? Can you have bon-fires on the beach there?

I think not. Bite me Stone Phillips.