You know, it's tough enough to be single sometimes without hearing about all these losers out there who somehow manage to get girlfriends. Like, it turns out, John Hinckley Jr., otherwise known as the guy who shot Reagan in an attempt to impress Jody Foster. Talk about blows to your self-esteem. What the hell could I be doing wrong? I'm a nice guy. I've never shot a President. I've never stalked some Hollywood actress because I couldn't tell that "Taxi Driver" was a movie. I've never been thrown into a mental institution for the entirety of my life.

Sure, he met her in the insane asylum too, which means she's pretty crazy too, but still.