Gotta love the Grammys. Every year they always say how they're getting hipper, more with it, more cool. And every year they say this time, we won't screw it up. And every year they screw it up.

This year they almost to get it right. Just check out who was nominated for "Record of the Year":

Crazy In Love
Beyoncé Featuring Jay-Z

Where Is The Love
The Black Eyed Peas & Justin Timberlake

Clocks
Coldplay

Lose Yourself
Eminem

Hey Ya!
OutKast

That's a damn good line up- you could make an argument in favor of any of those songs to win the award. Even I think those songs are pretty brilliant (even the Coldplay tune) and I have major anti-pop snottiness issues. Hell, I bet Dick Cheney bops his head along to "Crazy In Love" and I betcha when nobody's looking, John Ashcroft sings "Hey Ya!".

But then you get to the "Song of the Year, " which is the big "Best Picture" type award, the award which the Grammy people really care about. Now check out the songs that were nominated (and yeah, what the hell the difference is between "Record of the Year" and "Song of the Year," who knows):

Beautiful
Linda Perry, songwriter (Christina Aguilera)

Dance With My Father
Richard Marx & Luther Vandross, songwriters (Luther Vandross)

I'm With You
Avril Lavigne & The Matrix, songwriters (Avril Lavigne)

Keep Me In Your Heart
Jorge Calderón & Warren Zevon, songwriters (Warren Zevon)

Lose Yourself
J. Bass, M. Mathers & L. Resto, songwriters (Eminem)

And the winner was: that hip, exciting, hugely successful song "Dance With My Father." You know, that song. The song that was all over MTV and the radio. The song that you hear at like every party you've ever been to. The song written by noted genius Richard Marx.

Seriously, has anyone actually heard that song? Yeah, I know Luther Vandross had a stroke and he's a good guy, but I ask you, as good as may be, does it make you want to shake it like a Poloroid Picture?

Avril Lavigne did a better song than Outkast? Please.