So that stupid-ass company that's been taking their sweet time "checking my references" before hiring me finally called. They finally decided to do something about me- they're going to take me out to lunch.

When I asked why they just said they hemmed and hawed for a bit and then kind of said something like they wanted to make it up to me for taking so long. Oh, that and they've been busy changing things and wanted to fill me in on what's going on. Goody.

Now, this is a good thing, right? Why is it that the only thing I can think about is the old adage that if you're going to break up with somebody, you take them out to lunch so they won't make such a big scene that way. Like they know I'm pissed and that I've been stressed out and saying nasty things about them in the past few weeks, so instead of just sending me a nice "thanks for coming" e-mail, they'll make up for the whole thing by buying me a nice lunch.

Or maybe the lunch is to make up for something else, like getting screwed over on salary or putting me on some incentive plan where I wouldn't make that much now, but maybe, possibly in a year or now, maybe. So then the taking me out to lunch would make up for it. You know, kind of a "well, sorry we can't pay you what you want to make, but here, order some appetizer's, it's on us!"

But on the other hand, if they're going to not give me the job, why still take me out to lunch? Could they possibly think that I'd want to hang out with them if they didn't give me the job? Do they possibly think I'd want to go out to lunch with them anyways after all they've done?

Mainly, though, I wonder this- if they want to hire me, why can't they just FUCKING DO IT. It's nice and all to get a free lunch, but all things considering, I'd rather take the job. And it's not even close.

Besides, what the hell are you supposed to wear for a "lunch" date with possible employers? Do I have to put on a suit? Do I have to wear my really uncomfortable dress shoes again and incur yet another blister on my heel? Do I have to wear a tie again?

Just hire me, please…..