More Fear and Loathing on the Job-Hunting Trail…..

Yet another thing to look out for when interviewing- The Interview with the (Really) Really Hot Chick.

Be afraid. Very afraid.

It was at the place that's been dicking me around for at least a year now. I was out in their sort of lobby, waiting for the guy who I'm supposed to talk to come and get me cause he was late, as usual. I was stuck there doing the always fun sitting-in-the-lobby-while-half-the-office-walks-by-and-asks-me-if-I've-been helped. That's when I first saw her. Blonde hair and ruby-red lips, Jessica Rabbit body, high heels and colorfully tight clothing. One of the hottest women I've ever seen that didn't involve someone handing over a $20. From the very first moment I saw her, I knew she was trouble. I know what havoc a woman like that can cause in an office- guys stopping right in the middle of doing something to gaze, all the Alpha Males in the office competing for her attention with all the rapt attention they give to the Office NCAA Tourney Pool, and I'm not even gonna get into what could happen at an office party. Let's just say it could get ugly. Very ugly.

Either way, I'm pretty sure someone in HR could probably compute some statistic pointing out how much time had been lost by male's either staring at her, flirting with her, or outright hitting on her. In fact, I'm pretty sure the only reason she got hired was because her boss is gay and had no idea what a woman who looked like that could do to an office.

Anyways, the guy finally comes and we go an office room for the interview, or whatever it is considering the fact we've already done the whole interview spiel. He talks and talks and talks, I get a word in when I can just to get a word in, and then he announces that he wants me to meet with someone I'd have to be working with. And that's when he leaves the office and calls for the next person to interview me.

It was her.

Interviewing is hard enough, but now I have all sorts of new obstacles to deal with. Let's just say it's all about focusing and saying to myself over and over again things like "don't stare" and "for God sakes, don't drool." It's hard enough keeping my train of thought during an interview without also having a Skinemax movie running through my head. This can be awfully hard to do when she's right in front of me, talking to me and giving me all her attention. Not to mention when she, at one point, leans over to give me her business card. It's almost like they threw a test at me to see how well I can handle pressure while having all sorts of distractions thrown at me. Did I mention how tight her sleeveless camaflouge t-shirt was?

As tricky as this can be, there are certain good things about this situation. I don't care what state the male may be in, but when they're in a situation like I was, the guys' gonna try and do some sort of flirting. It's just a primal instinct thing, a natural reflex. Can't be helped. No guy wouldn't get a little flash when she says "let me give you my business card" or laughs at your jokes. So, even though I needed to get a job and she was way out of my league, not to mention recently married, that little voice in the back of my head was saying things to me like "flash that great charm of yours and in no time, you'll have yet another woman who'll love you as a friend and tell you how cool you are while they sleep with everyone else in the office." So after being all drippy and kind of pissy during the first interview, I was now, umm, up.

Anyways, I think I've passed the first round of the process and will probably make it to the next round. What can I say, she wanted me.