It looks like the new season of "the Osbournes" is starting up next week. Oh goody. Does anyone really care anymore? Seriously. You want to know what episode I want to see- where they all get sent off to Iraq to be used as bomb-sniffing dogs.

Speaking of MTV reality shows, which I seem to be doing a lot of (and speaking of which, Jesus F'ing Christ, have you seen the size of Robin's rack on the "Real World?" You could land airplanes on those things) the newest reality "sitcom" is one about the marriage between ex-Baywatch Babe, ex Playmate and ex Mrs. Dennis Rodman to Jane's Addiction's guitarist Dave Navarro.

We can go two ways with this one-

1) Remember when Jane's Addiction was the bomb? When "Nothing's Shocking" came out and it was like the greatest album you've heard in years and it made you want to do nothing but smoke massive amounts of bong hits and play air guitar? Weren't they the coolest band in the world? Didn't they just conjure up weird freakiness and make you think that those guys were getting some serious freak on, stuff that you couldn't even imagine in your wildest dreams, but it was cool cause it was the Reagan 80's. And who really cared anyways since "Ocean Size" made you want to bang your head til it hurt?

Now, the guy who played all the guitar is not only marrying Carmen Electra, but having himself filmed for an MTV reality show. Along with all the other members of Jane's (except for the bassist whose the only smart one left).

Why Dave? Why? Why'd you give up the dream like that?

2) Remember back in the day when all the big rock bands didn't do a lot of interviews and were kind of mysterious? Remember when they had mystique and that made them that much cooler? And whenever they came out with an album you'd rush out to get the latest issue of "Rolling Stone" because it was one of the few times you'd see pictures of them and you wanted to see what they looked like, dressed like, and felt like? And remember how some bands- like Floyd or Zeppelin- didn't even do interviews because they were about the music, man, and it made them somehow that much more cooler?

What happened? Now it seems like every band out there spends half their time when they're not on tour at the MTV studios standing in line to blow Carson Daly. And when they're not blowing Carson Daly they're either calling in to have phone sex with Carson Daly or being shown on any of the fifty non-video related shows MTV plays. Do you think Pink Floyd would have ever done "Cribs?" Would Zeppelin ever done a reality show? Would John Lennon allowed himself to be "Punk'd"?

Jane Says, Dave you really blow
Used to be so much cooler
Why'd you have to go cheese out
Marry that bimbo
And film it all on video

I'm gonna suck tomorrow…..
I'm gonna suck tomorrow…..