(Sorry, more political rantings. It is the first day of the actual Primary, what with the BS Iowa primaries today. What can I say, for some reason I'm actually interested in politics. I can't have layers? I swear, I'll bring back the usual stuff tomorrow- hell I have pages ready to go just on RW Robin's breasts.)

I've got a theory about the Democratic Party, that the Democrats have a bad case of Spousal Abuse Syndrome. Democrats have become so afraid of getting whomped on by Karl Rove, Fox News, and Rush Limbaugh that they bend over backwards not to actually say anything that they believe in. Like they can't even say that they want to help the poor lest they immediately get accused of being God-less, gay-loving, communist hippies.

So, for the past ten years or so, the Democrats have been doing their utmost not to actually sound like they were Democrats. "What? do something about the poor? Sign treaties? Who me?" This has turned the party into what it is now- a party of wusses, a bunch of people who occasionally stick their heads out of the hole, see their shadow and after checking the polls, stick their head back in. The result? Since the mid-90's they've gotten their butts kicked all over the place. They've managed to be both played and rolled, like the Yankees versus the Sox. Or like the Road Runner versus Wil E. Coyote. We've had the lame-ass impeachment, Florida in 2000, the rise of Fox News, and the takeover of all three branches of Government. And all the Democrats seem to be doing is standing around and going "thank you sir, may I have another?"

Which brings us to Howard Dean. For the first time I can remember, a Democrat has stood up, says this is what I believe and why I believe it and if you don't like it, you can suck on it. He's taking all of those stupid rules that exist about politicians (his wife has to be doting and follow him everywhere, he has to praise God everywhere) and throwing them out. He's rewriting the book. He's Jesus at the Temple Mount going after the money changers. He's Nirvana in a world of hair-bands. He's the Nerds in "Revenge of the Nerds" trying to first get their own Frat and then trying to win the Greek Festival. For everything wrong with the political system in the U.S.- campaign financing and the control of special interests, a press that is far too lazy and meek to do what they're supposed to do, poll-driven politics- Dean represents a big FU to all of it.

Which is why he's scaring the crap out of a lot of people. The Democratic Party establishment doesn't like him because he's calling them on their cowardice. The press doesn't like him because they make the rules, damnit, and he's not playing by any of them and, besides he doesn't like them. The Washington Establishment doesn't like him because he's not part of their clique. And the Republicans don't like him because he's uppity.

And so he takes all the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, getting it from every side because he is a threat. The Democrats say he can't win because he's too angry and gaffe-prone (even though listening to advice from the Democratic National Committee is like getting advice from the owners of the Milwaukee Brewers on how to run a baseball team.) The press clucks at him like a bunch of Heathers in High going after someone for not wearing the right accessorized clothes (his wife doesn't campaign with him! He isn't religious! He sometimes says what he thinks!) and the Republicans go after him because he's not polite and deferential and doesn't roll over whenever they accuse him of something.

And so nobody can understand why he's just so popular, even though it's precisely because of them that he's so popular. For every Democrat who got sick watching the party roll over during the tax cuts, for every Democrat sick of listening to the rabid attack dogs on MSFOXNN, for every Democrat sick of watching the media focus on stupid little things while missing big things (such as, oh, the President completely lying about Iraq) and for every Democrat just wishing and hoping that somebody- anybody- has the balls to go out there and say I'm a Democrat, damnit, Howard Dean is the man. And it's why everytime he gets attacked by a member of the Establishment, either it being a member of the political or press establishment, he gets more popular.

I've been thinking a lot about Dean over the months because I like politics and I want that smirk ripped off Smirkboys face come November. I want to like Dean. I see what he represents, what he stands for, and who he is and I want to believe. I want a Democrat whose got the balls to admit. I want one who isn't beholden to special interests and I want one who'll call a spade a spade (after all, as Michael Kinsley famously said, a gaffe is when a politician says the truth). And, yes, everytime some member in the press says something dumb about him, I want to go on his Web site and give him money (or, I would if I had any money). It's just that while I like the idea of there being a Howard Dean out there, I'm just not sure I like Howard Dean.

Maybe I've got Spousal Abuse Syndrome when it comes to who I want to support. Everytime he says something "stupid" like the Iowa caucus is a crock or a story comes out and says that he can't win because he's not religious and his church has yoga classes, I cringe. And, maybe, I feel like Democrats should be pliant and roll over and not evil like Gingrich or Delay, but something about him worries me. And I know I'm not the only one out there. Most of my friends say the same thing. When you bring him up, they all look burdened and say "….I just don't know about him."

I want to be a Deaniac. I admire those people who are. But, right now, I'm not on board. I'd love to be proven wrong, though.

Right now, I'm still undecided.